ricochet a novel

V"vvv"ricochet clown hotdog ducklingsgimmick gon Joni Rubin dubbing cabin Chinook fill dump Fuji funnel full full till till top till hill Fuji chill Fuji funkfloppy think Gilliam fill full gimp gunk cynicism gunk Cunningham gunk

okay, this story hit me with a ricochet so hard. I was expecting main character energy. and a hijacked storyline. instead, what I got was "oops, I did it again." if slash when the author updates, I will be ready to read it. and seeing as the author had said it was a long fic, I hope it isn't in update purgatory.

Well, no annoying harem is equal to good story in my book though. As long as i didn't see those thing called harem i'll stick by. Now to waste word. Arvin Buffett iChat thud fetus exuded Icahn duct eggs duck Bloch adj so etc arc yacht doc quick Natick Ruddock futuro futurist figure Griffin Carrick Arvin Griffith buddy caR Eric uti utero icu yay Tzu clEric chi ish using chi pho fetch idiots chick Irish justify dish offish idiotic courtside visits digoxin hosiery xoxo duck patio ricochet wished forum hickory Digoxin giving. Result of sliding my finger on screen.

Here to review!! The writing style is crisp and very descriptive. A nuance that I have is that sometimes the use of metaphors can be a bit jarring, especially when it is overly verbose. While some scenes work very well if described so fluidly, I find myself lost in paragraphs upon paragraphs of heavy text and long sentence structures. You also tend to use passive voice over active voice a lot, which *can* deter from the scene since it sounds rather detached. An example of this would be during the smut scene with a bit too many conjunctions and adverbs. As poetic as the words are, some word choices can be a little off-putting (such as 'gyrating', 'ricochet'). Sometimes it can also come off as a little too much. Examples: 'swift as a riverside eel' = when in a sexy moment, it kind of made me chuckle! 'heavenly stars to dance behind closed eyelids' = poetic but too much? 'eyelashes would flutter open to gaze across the patch of space and bask in the tranquility' I would really, really love to read more dialogue between them (during the smut scene AND when they first got acquainted). Their personalities aren't too defined in the beginning chapters and their relationship took a very abrupt turn (which can be good if they're only into each other because of their looks). You described the two characters feeling a sort of affinity to each other solely because of the prophecy, but I didn't see much chemistry between them. This aside, it was a solid read! I really would love to see more of Jaelan and Wylen's dynamic~ Thank you for posting this!!

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