star sprite helper in bowser's inside story

This Novel is supposedly sponsored by Sprite... Overall, it's good Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite Sprite

Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L

Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L Coke 8oz Royal 8oz Sprite 8oz Royal L Sprite L

even though this story has some horny elements, it's fucking peak, so I recommend reading this.

Something about the story just rubs me the wrong way. It took me a bit of time to hit on it but I think I have identified a few things that made me dislike this. 1) The dialogue. There are a couple aspects to this. First would be simply how the characters speak to each other. Too much of the dialogue is communicating information with very little fluff. It is like two computers have to communicate information using English, very stiff with little emotion. 2) Sprite. Honestly this portion is a bit absurd to me for a couple reasons. Why would no-one try to steal Sprite when Leo is knocked out? Why would Sprite risk endangering Leo by telling everyone who listens that he exists? What is the point of Sprite's calculations if when Leo ignores them he comes out on top anyway? Leo's over-reliance on Sprite leads to plot holes as well. There are times where Sprite calls out an attack for Leo. Since they seem to communicate vocally his usually more powerful enemies should be able to hear this as well. Why do "the bad guys" NEVER react to Sprite in combat? 3) Why is the story listed as 'General Audiences'? It has rape, torture, forced pregnancy, death, gore, etc... This is misleading. The rating should reflect the content. In a similar vein the story is under Eastern Fantasy but the eastern fantasy elements are lacking and aren't a driving force where they do exist. This seems like it should belong under Magical Realism instead (especially with the heavy post-apocalyptic story). I love the idea behind the story but it isn't working for me.