the real draft day story
# DECEPTION # FAMILYDISPUTE # DIVINE HEALER Gu Yanfei was reborn. In her last life, it was only after her death that she realized she was the real daughter in a story about a real and a fake rich daughter. She was supposed to be the daughter of a nobleman, but someone switched her with another child at birth and left her leading a wretched life — a cannon fodder from start to finish. The female lead was the fake rich daughter, but she was also blessed with good fortune and the affection of the Gu family, taking everything that was rightfully Gu Yanfei's. In that life, Gu Yanfei lived as she died, with no rhyme or reason. However, after her death, she transmigrated to a cultivators' realm and became a healer... But after cultivating herself for 200 years, she failed her ascension trials. Then, one of the divine thunderbolts struck her and sent her back to her last life — back to the moment when the identity of the rich daughter was exposed. Upon her return, everyone in the nobleman's residence was laughing at her for being illiterate and uneducated, a far cry from the fake rich daughter blessed with good looks and a kind heart, who stood above the rest. They just did not know that Gu Yanfei was a fully-leveled character, reincarnated back to this moment!
This reads like a first draft with just the idea of what you want but none of the substance that a real book or fanfic would have. Its really not good. The characters have no depth, the story has no depth. The ideas are cool but it still reads like you wrote a draft looked at it for 2 seconds and posted it. The dialogue just zooms by with nothing actually being said. The "training" just happens, they are just suddenly stronger. You dont give the characters like Daz Or Mr 5 any real background or character. They are only all here for their powers. Your just writing for the powers instead of the characters or world. I hope you take this as criticism and not insult and improve. Have a great day.