funny appropriate joke stories

There's a joke about a cat. A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the cat at the gate and said, 'You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.' The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.' God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly, the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in a tragic accident and they all went to Heaven. God met the mice at the gate with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, 'All our lives we have had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we would not have to run anymore.' God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly, each mouse had a beautiful pair of roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found the cat sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently woke him and asked, 'How are you doing? Are you happy here?' The cat yawned and stretched and said, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!' Another animal - related joke is that a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some ChapStick. The cashier says, 'Will you be paying cash or credit?' The duck says, 'Just put it on my bill.'

Here's a joke story. A snail got mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him what happened, he said, 'I don't know. It all happened so fast.' And there's also this one. A man goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I keep seeing into the future.' The doctor says, 'When did this start?' The man replies, 'Next Tuesday.'

Here's one. A turkey says to another turkey on Thanksgiving, 'I'm a little worried.' The other asks, 'Why?' The first one says, 'Well, all these people keep talking about stuffing!'

Such a cartoon is highly inappropriate and offensive. Suicide bombing is a serious and tragic topic that should never be made light of or used for humor.

Another one is about a bear. A bear walks into a bar and says, 'Give me a whiskey... and a cola.' The bartender asks, 'Why the big pause?' The bear replies, 'I don't know, I was born with them.' It's a clean and funny joke.