"An everyday man gets thrown into the world of twilight thousands of years before the start of the plot. With immortality and incredible abilities. How will this man's presence change the outcome of the original story?" [ this is a slow-burn fanfiction; the MC is just trying to experience life and enjoy it, not to take over the world and rule from the shadows.] I do not own twilight or the characters of the twilight world, all that belongs to me are my own characters.
Overall it was good. Wrong grammars weren't evident for me and there were no typos. Most importantly, the story caught my attention. Not quite the type of book I'm in for, especially since this is not a BBRae fan fiction, but I think you did great.