cabin house old two story

The basis of the idea is that kids go to sleep in their "normal" house. He then wakes up in some woods with a log cabin. In this log cabin they see a "Slender-man" like character and a "Jason" like character. He wakes up and is back in normal life but the moment he goes to sleep he wakes up in "the woods" once again

He chose this distant place because other places were too expensive, but the main reason was that this place was in an old private house, and when Ye Mo rented the old house, he had paid for two year’s rent. There was a yard in the back of the house where he could grow Silver Heart Grass which was exactly what Ye Mo wanted. For him, business came after growing the Silver Heart Grass. However, the third day that the clinic had opened, they had their first patient when they least expected. Ye Mo and Yu Erhu were awoken by a hurried knock in the middle of the night.

I wish you dont drop this story For the past 8 days I have searched the Pasig River area. One exceptional site is an old house, a 97-year-old farmhouse nestled along vineyards with a breathtaking view of valleys, forest and distant mountains. For the past 8 days I have searched the Pasig River area. One exceptional site is an old house, a 97-year-old farmhouse nestled along vineyards with a breathtaking view of valleys, forest and distant mountains.

Good plot, great storyline. As always you have a unique plot which entices the reader to want more. However there are some glaring weaknesses that I noted you might want to attend to. In chapter 1 you make reference to a cabin house, which is like over kill. Use of cabin already gives the picture of a wooden or log house. You go on to describe Avita in chapter 2 as, wearing 'some glasses', the use of some in that case is inappropriate. I would suggest you go with, ...'wearing eye glasses or simply glasses. You have a great story which I believe would read even better if you change present tense to past tense, do that you are doing more of narrating. You did a great job of that in, Online Cougar System, and please proof read your work. Otherwise I love the way you are building up the story. The way you ended chapter1 is a quite a cliffhanger. The way you proceed to chapter 2 where we are now seeing Avita years later, brilliant.

another Gryffindor mf is far to old for that shiet for brain house