Review Detail of broken_noodle in Kingdom's Bloodline
Review detail
I’m not exactly good at writing review, so I translated one of the highest rated Kingdom’s Bloodline reviews at the Chinese Qidian forum. There are some minor *SPOILER* so read it with risks. -------------------------------------- A very interesting book. To simply put, this is a novel about transmigrating to a fantasy world that has its own fictional history at the end of the Medieval Age. I saw a lot of advertisements in the book review area and there was really nothing to discuss. So I want to write something to express my feelings so far. Many people say that the protagonist is too weak, and the development of the story has too much pressure and *******. However, this is indeed the most interesting aspect of this novel. Different from the general concept of webnovels, in which the protagonists basically farm monsters and grind for levels, really straightforward. The protagonist of this book began as a beggar for a living, and cautiously survived under the control of the criminal gang. Then he became the only living prince of the kingdom by chance (perhaps inevitable). Then, just like a person holding the only torch in a black forest. Little by little, collecting the bits and pieces of this world, Under the force of history, or you could say under the mutual political game of several major factions behind the curtain, the protagonist almost always uses language (Yes! The power of words) and cautious analysis to overcome one difficulty after another, of course, the novel also gives the protagonist the life-saving mystic power. This book is interesting for the following points: We can think of this novel built by the author as a long lasted history. Through the eyes of the protagonist, you could hear the content, you could restore the truth behind history little by little. I am very happy that author can use different POVs to provide each piece of information about the world, rather than giving them out directly like a God. Secondly, it is very interesting to hear the history told by different characters of the same period, to see whether it is true or false, because of their view-points, their ideologies, their roles in the age they were in, to provide the protagonist with difference information. And the most interesting aspect, I myself don't expect or hope for the protagonist to become some kind of a powerful person. I care more about the history that was dusted thousands of years ago, the truth that was concealed in the scrolls of history, the political collusion behind it, the humanity, and the spirit of sacredness and nobleness. In addition, the authors try to shape everyone into a unique character. Everyone has to obey the command of someone/or something higher up that they have to accept, but they also have their own little thoughts. Just like in the book when Black Sword was lying in the cold snow with wounds all over his body, but he only longed for a dirty girl in his hometown, who *****ly asked him how the northlanders raise the pig. Just like how the former White Blade general opened a pub after the battle 12 years ago, living like a neighbor's uncle, but always in his heart, he keep a respect for history. Each character is not a black and white image, with his choices and abandonment, with the reasons for his action and the softness of his heart. I like this world, it brings us more truthful feelings. The most gratifying thing is what I can't see it at all: For example, the protagonist being soft when seeing a woman, and then the woman who became his lover turned into a flower vase or had inexplicable surge of strength. For example, the enemy who has no need to be provocative got their face slapped, and then when their grandpas discovered this, continued to be provocative and also got their face slapped, and then.... For example, after talking about some shocking statement (modern thought), the protagonist inexplicably got the appreciation of some big man from the higher up, and then…. For example, what I hate most is that when the protagonist knew that there was a gap in strength between him and the enemy, he still had to make it difficult and forcefully jump forward. Then he said "just bite my teeth, risk my life", and his hidden power erupted or something, so cute. Fortunately, in this book, I saw that no woman with power or strength is a ****** character. She either has the tenaciousness and the inner determination from all the killings on the battlefield, or she seemed harmless but good at scheming with rich experience in political infighting. I saw that every battle is not only about the victory and defeat by strength, but also the political scenery, the inner ambition of the characters, and the resentment and gratitude of the history behind it. All the waves are entangled, all the dots are connected to make you see the fighting and struggle of people. And the author does not say it directly, only simply shows it with the protagonist's experience, what he sees and hears is what you know. --------------------------------------------- Also, I could see that the translated version, while being quite good with grammar and such, has some mistakes with titles, locations, names etc that may cause confusions for the readers, so I will make a list of them below in near future, hoping that Qidian will fix them (or not since this’s the case most of time)
Kingdom's Bloodline
Masterless Sword
Liked by 108 people
LIKEReplies29
Alright this will be a long list, about the translation mistakes of each chapter: Chapter 1: _'things' and 'requirements' --> 'products' and 'demands' (lel I though you Chinese should know more about Marxism) _Quide just sounds... weird since you took it straight from how the Chinese raw spells it, I would suggest something like: Clyde, Quidel, Quaid etc etc _'was five coppers less' --> should make it clearer with 'five copper coin less' or 'five pieces of copper coins less', so things like 'thirty-seven coppers' will be 'thirty-seven copper coins and so on. _Quide was angry and looked as red as the mane of a lion. --> I'm pretty sure this part should be 'looked like a lion with red mane', referring to the fact that Quide has red hair. _Beggar trade --> beggar business, they only sell (or trade if you call it) a small portion of kids before they turned into beggars, and their 'business' is to beg, then surrender the money to their boss, Quide. So call it TRADE is wrong. _Yanni: again with the weird names, you could change it to Yennefer or the like _Additionally, the Blood Bottle Gang, also known as the 'nobles of the gangsters', in its ninety years history, had blood debts with its enemy. --> the sentence is a bit confusing, it would be something like "Even the Blood Bottle Gang, who was known as the 'nobles of gangster' , also had many blood debts in its ninety years of history." Also if I'm not wrong, in this part they also said that the Blood Bottle Gang is the arch enemy of the Brotherhood. _these three districts --> these three Lower City Districts _ The leader of the Brotherhood probably just wanted to extort for some beer money from them --> This leader of the Brotherhood probably just wanted to extort for some drinking/alcohol/beverage money from them _he would proceed to the subway's Sunset Pub --> 'subway' here should be the Underworld Street or the Underground Street, a proper name. _female noble --> noblewoman, nobody uses female noble in literature writing, and I also see that you use noblewoman later _Red Street Market --> I'm very skeptical about this name, first of all that location is totally not a market, secondly nothing in the raw implies that it's a market. But since they have 'flesh business' there so I guess you could call it a market. _three districts near the shady street --> three Lower City Districts near the shady Black Street _This was when he came out to beg. It was the reason the Blood Bottle Gang did not interrupt him. --> This was the reason when he came out to beg he Blood Bottle Gang did not interrupt him. _Quide himself was once a thug for the Brotherhood. -->Quide himself was once a head debt collector leading the thug for the Brotherhood. _the bald Sven --> baldhead Sven, sound more pleasant _This information was a secret. Thales found out about this at the Brotherhood's large house when he overheard the Assassins, Layork and Felicia, secretly laugh at Quide. --> This information was supposed to be a secret, Thales only found out about this when he was lying between the walls of the Brotherhood's headquarter/main house and overheard the Assassin Layork and Felicia (Felicia isn't an assassin), who were in their 'private fighting' (implying that they were f*ucking), secretly laugh at Quide _Sintit: again, another name taken straight out of Chinese spelling, you should change it to Clint _Kellet --> Kelly _gather dead branches and weeds -- dry branches and weeds _priest --> priestess, all of them are female _after the prayers at sunset --> after the praying time at sunset. _Niah --> Nina _Ritual master could be Grand Priestess or High Priestess Thank you
Chapter 2: _In the slums of the Lower City Second District --> In the Abandoned Houses of the Second Lower City District. _Nayer Rick, looked at the wine bottle in front of him with disgust --> looked at Quide clinging on/holding the wine bottle in front of him with disgust _Quide fell in ranking from the thugs' chief to the beggars' chief after some setback (what the hell is this sentence) --> Quide fell in ranking from the chief of the debts collecting thugs to head of the beggars _If it was not because his scribe father had made a mistake --> If it was not because his scribe father had committed a crime _He utilized his talents and successfully sold a few slaves. --> he succeeded in planning several human trafficking channels from the south to the capital. _allowed him to manage the Brotherhood and the accounts of the beggars --> allowed him to manage the Brotherhood's accounts and the beggars _Quide who was once a well-known thug in the Third Street --> in the three Lower City Districts _Crystal Drop Ores: I think Crystal here should be Star, it fits to the theme of the Constellation kingdom _ 'Widow Blackheart' Behrs --> Berth the "Blackheart Widow" _"he could identify all the promising and young future prospects for the Brotherhood. He can then obtain favors for the future." Again this translator seems to love butcher the original source for the sake of convenience, this part should be: "he could identify all the promising and young future prospects for the Brotherhood, so he can reach out with a helping hand toward these seeds at the right time, and then…" _ 'I am lucky that this guy is a walking disaster.' totally made no sense, he said he's luck that Quide would be there to shield him from these disaster because Quide got a bigshot of a dad. _without a contrast between the rewards --> without a contrast between the rewards and PUNISHMENTS _the know-how --> could you just change it to the knowledge how to? _The informant, Ned --> the SNITCH, SNITCH _Behrs had once said that this person had a noble inheritance --> she is from a noble bloodline/she has a noble heritage (Coria's a god damn abandoned beggar, she has no inheritance) _If they did not have enough money, they would need to beg for more. This way, they would not have enough for next week's quota. --> If they did not have enough money, they WILL HAVE TO TAKE SOME from the begging money. This way, they would not have enough for next week's quota. (Nick is setting up a trap so the children wouldn't have enough money for the next week, and then he would tell Quide about this) _Rick was very excited when he thought of something --> thought of this _ the second largest kingdom on the western part of the continent. --> the Western Continent
Although I agree in general, many of your "corrections" are less correct. "thirty-seven coppers" is more natural than "thirty-seven copper coins" when referring to something that's a normal currency in the setting. Turning "coppers" into "pieces of copper coins" is not only unwieldy but also incorrect. Beggar trade is correct. "Trade" has a similar meaning to business in this context, however business would be less correct because they are not engaging in organized commerce as such, it's merely an informal method of acquiring money. It's referring to the practice of begging as a skill for getting dosh. You may have gotten the two words mixed up since "trade" also has a separate definition meaning to exchange one thing for another. The Blood Bottle Gang sentence is much more intelligible before your rewrite. Although the translator should figure out the types of alcohol, your suggestions for what word to use there are not natural. In general I think your desire to insert proper names everywhere is overzealous. "baldhead Sven" doesn't sound more pleasant and also is wrong. "Prayers" is correct while "praying time" is a poor translation; in English we have evening prayer, not evening prayer time as evening is already a time. "Sunset" is also a time, following the same principle, although Christianity doesn't have a prayer at sunset but has a vigil instead; that would also be "sunset vigil" rather than "sunset vigil time" however. The simplification of the "young future prospects" sentence is fine since the only omitted information (that the favors would come later) is clearly implied by the context. "know-how" is perfectly acceptable. Additionally, many of the ones I didn't call out are fixing things that aren't problems. Both sentences regarding Nick's trap are pretty bad, to be honest, but it's a hard thing to word sensibly in as few sentences. There's enough that could be improved here, there's no point going off on things that are fine. Additionally, although it's helpful to identify bits where the translation doesn't have the same meaning, I don't know that your English is sufficient to comment on issues of grammar or word choice.
Your review is helpful although it contain spoilers, and i must agree with cruxador that at least half of your "corrections" are unnecessary. The walking disaster is already correct because quide become a factor he can use to gain whatever he is planning to gain. And the scribe father sentence was acceptable, idk why u insist on it being written as a crime instead of mistake. And quide being beggar's chief sentence is already correct, although a bit informal. The slave trafficking was already correct too, idk why u even correct it. And kellet, niah sounds just normal, why must you change it to a very common name. And about nayer obtaining favor from these promising childs, isnt it better if the translations are shorter and basically said the same thing, without missing out details (im sure you can guess how he obtain their favors)
I haven't started yet but I saw few tags in novel update who make me apprehend, then I saw your review who is a real one so I think to ask to you. (I'm French sorry for grammar)
broken_noodle:Kay what makes you think so?
Mmasbull:I haven't started yet but I saw few tags in novel update who make me apprehend, then I saw your review who is a real one so I think to ask to you. (I'm French sorry for grammar)
