Let’s start with Character Development: Mark’s Overpowered and Emotionally Empty
Let's talk about Mark’s character, because if the rest of the story is a trainwreck, this is the biggest reason it derails. The entire arc of Mark "growing stronger" reads like a self-insert fanfic fantasy. In a span of three years, Mark learns magic, technology, and godlike powers. The problem? There’s no real struggle. We don’t see him fail, doubt himself, or grow through challenges. He just gets handed power after power without earning any of it. He’s the definition of a "Mary Sue" character, and it's painful to watch.
Learning magic? Off-screen. His powers being boosted by technology and training? Conveniently explained in a couple of paragraphs. We’re supposed to buy that Mark can conquer entire new realms of science and mysticism, but we never get a true look at the hardships, the failures, or the mental toll this kind of growth would have. Where’s the sacrifice? Where’s the emotional struggle? What about the internal conflict that comes with the responsibility of all that power? The story never lets us feel any of it. Instead, Mark comes back from his training and essentially just says, "Yeah, I’m stronger now. Deal with it." That’s the extent of his "growth."
The moment where he spars with his father, Nolan, is a prime example of the narrative's laziness. Nolan—a character who’s been built up as an unstoppable force—barely lands a punch on Mark, and it’s over before you can blink. There’s no emotional heft here. Nolan’s role is reduced to a passive, almost helpless father figure, and it just feels like a way to showcase Mark's power rather than a meaningful interaction between father and son.
Plot: Rushed, Lazy, and Full of Convenience
The story is riddled with plot holes and lazy writing choices. Mark’s time away, supposedly three years of training, comes with no real stakes. The entire dimension-hopping element is wasted. The Flaxans are hardly fleshed out, and the magical element is introduced with no clear rules. We’re supposed to accept that Mark just magically masters these abilities? Great, but where’s the depth? Where’s the cost of learning this magic? Where’s the struggle of understanding and mastering something this complex? We never see it.
The whole idea of Mark "locking down the dimension" is laughable, especially when you consider that we’re given no reason to care about this event. The Flaxans are barely mentioned again after Mark’s brief "revolt," and the concept of him mastering magic with no real difficulty feels like the narrative is just fast-forwarding to the "cool" moments without any effort to make them meaningful. Mark comes off like a walking Deus Ex Machina, with a limitless supply of abilities and no need to develop any further.
Dialogue: Painfully On-the-Nose and Stale
The dialogue here is downright cringeworthy at times. The characters speak in stiff, unnatural tones, as if they're reading from a script rather than having real, emotional conversations. Mark’s exchanges with Debbie and Nolan feel more like the author explaining what they want us to think about the characters rather than real people having a nuanced conversation.
Take this line from Nolan after their sparring match: "You've come a long way, Mark. I'm proud of you." Seriously? This is a man who’s watched his son get stronger and more powerful. That’s the depth of his emotional response? There’s zero tension in Nolan’s character arc. He should be questioning what his son’s newfound power means for the future of the Viltrum Empire, but instead, he just accepts it. What happened to the complexity of Nolan’s character from earlier stories? He’s reduced to a passive observer here.
Mark’s own dialogue fares no better. "You asked for it" and "Not bad, huh?" are just embarrassing. These lines scream teenage power fantasy, and it’s all too evident that the author is focused more on making Mark seem cool than on writing authentic interactions between the characters.
The Suit: A Convenience, Not a Solution
Then we have the Invincible suit. It’s supposed to be a big innovation, right? A suit that adapts to its user, responds to mental commands, and has built-in magic and advanced tech. But instead of feeling like an achievement or a piece of clever engineering, it just feels like an easy out for Mark to escape any situation. The fact that it can morph into shields, weapons, and even camouflage with zero explanation or limitations makes it feel like a cop-out. Why bother building tension when you have an all-purpose suit that can solve every problem? It’s lazy writing at its finest.
Action Sequences: No Stakes, No Emotion
The action sequences are fast-paced, but they’re also devoid of any real suspense. When Mark fights Nolan, it’s clear that Mark’s growth is the focus here, but Nolan might as well be a punching bag. There’s no emotional weight to the fight. It’s not about father and son clashing over differences in ideology, power, or loyalty. It’s just about showing off how strong Mark is. There’s no emotional investment in the action. In fact, everything Mark does feels effortless and without consequence.
The suit's endless transformations, Mark’s sudden mastery of magic, and his invincibility just suck the life out of what should be high-stakes, emotionally charged scenes. You don’t feel fear for Mark or any other character because, well, nothing can touch him. The conflict, if you can call it that, feels empty.
Final Thoughts: A Missed Opportunity
The biggest issue with this story is that it feels like it’s missing everything that makes a compelling narrative. The characters are shallow, the emotional stakes are non-existent, and the action is void of tension. Mark’s power creep is so extreme that the conflict feels meaningless. What’s the point of the journey if Mark can just solve everything with no real effort?
If you’re going to write a story about a character becoming incredibly powerful, you need to earn that power through struggle, loss, and sacrifice. Instead, this story opts for convenience and power fantasy, and it’s all the worse for it. Invincible as a character loses all of his relatability, and the plot becomes nothing more than a vehicle for showing off his new abilities.
This story is a perfect example of why power without consequences is a recipe for a boring narrative. It’s a missed opportunity to delve into deeper emotional and psychological conflict. Unfortunately, what we’re left with is an overpowered hero in a world that doesn’t feel like it has any real stakes.
In short: Mark might be "invincible," but this story definitely is not. It’s an exercise in mindless power fantasy, and a serious missed opportunity for an emotionally rich, thought-provoking narrative.
