ok first off i love twilight so that's a plus for this book. the problems aren't a lot but are also major problem 1: pacing- the pacing is way too fast the time skips makes the story go from a diamond to trash like I'm reading one chapter i start the next and we are confused bc you skipped so much we gotta fill everything in ourselves problem 2: detail- your story lacks detail and I'm not saying there is none but you didn't add detail for the would/background the character himself or even detailing what we missed in them awful time skips like building the would and interactions through detail in face emotion environment are a big part in writing a story. problem 3: dialogue- this kinda goes with problem 2 but another thing that needs to be worked on is dialogue. there isn't a lot of good dialogue for example when Kai says "lets just say it's complicated...". this could be changed to make the Convo flow way better to actually show that he doesn't want to tell them his powers like the first time would be fine but after that is just boring and repetitive imo. he could easily be like I don't think that's your business if hes that laid back don't want to be involved and protecting his sister or he could straight up say leave me alone lol. anyway if you are able to fix those in the upcoming chapters this story will be honestly amazing if you right longer chaps to get all that stuff in and slow down on the updates so you actually have time to get a good chapter out it would benefit you more bc you have more time to think plan and seriously build the would and it's characters plus the the character development for the mc. you can slow down the story so you have more time to plan obviously this isn't a lot of time for slowing down but it would help. thanks for writing the novel 🙏🏿
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