Overall, I'd say this is a decent fanfic. There are quite a few points I did not like, but the plot direction and storytelling are not bad. The grammar is above average and very much so readable given all the mid fics and trashy TLs, so that point is fine. Although I did say the plot direction is fine, I did not like how the plot itself was developed thus far. There were too many time skips that any relationships that could've been thoroughly built have been rushed and thus decreasing the quality of the characters individually, overall. I understand skipping the early stages of childhood, but the author skipped a bit too much. Even if you didn't show his life in school given Toji's personality and approach to education, the author could've spent at least 1 chapter to flesh out the family dynamics and show his change in view of his new mother over time. Cus, let's be honest, when Toji was born, he wouldn't give a f**k about his mother, I'll just say that and nothing more to not spoil too much. One good method of doing time skips was to segment the time skip into fragments, say 1 year intervals. So you can skip a year, give a few paragraphs of dialogue depicting core interactions between relevant characters ot the story or even just a PoV from the mc seeing his mother's struggles in more detail and his change in thought over time. In terms of character design, this category lost points due to what I stated above. I get that we are using some canon characters, but when you introduce rather important and quite relevant characters to the story, i.e., mother and grandmother, but don't show character DEVELOPMENT it is a minus in my book. Given how the author depicted it, it was more as if a relationship bar, as in games, just jumped multiple times instead of rising gradually. I do understand this is incredibly difficult to portray, which is why I don't want the author to feel discouraged from this. The update rate seems pretty solid overall so nothing to say there. Lastly, the world bg. It's BnHA, not much to say. The biggest complaint would be how tf the mc even met up with Momo. I get she's probably the FL but the story development to that doesn't make much sense, especially given how rich the yaoyorozu family is. How the mc's mother met mom's mother is probably one of the weirdest things. The mc's first meeting with momo can be chalked up to momo wanted to experience normal life a bit more but given mc's mom either worked as a hostess or some form of prostitution it doesn't make much sense. Overall, not bad of a read. It has it's flaws but that's just the author needing more experience writing. And I have seen far more ridiculous plot points written by other authors so this is by no means bad. Keep up the work, author-kun. Ah, and if curious: Writing Quality: 5 Story dev: 2 Char design: 3 Update: 5 World Bg: 4 Overall: 3.8
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Thank you for such a comprehensive review
ngl, it got worse. Mainly due to the timeskips and the author projecting an image of a new Toji in his head despite not showing the progression to that change. There are people arguing that it's fine, but character development isn't done with a single sentence... the concept had potential but the execution was rough to say the least
