webnovel
shamam0506
shamam0506Lv15mth
2024-11-10 16:21

the twist with the "system" is a cool idea and the writing is good, the pacing is good except the 3 first chapters. so far i recommend trying it (ch13)

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Anonymus_Nighter
Anonymus_NighterAuthor

Thank you for the review! As for the first three chapters, well, they were supposed to be long so that I can show the emotional struggle and the past in one go. But I get that you're just giving your view on it, so thank you for the honesty.

shamam0506
shamam0506Lv1

I do get it and I found it good, just telling to future readers that they should first get over the first chaps before feeling like its not for them because its a little bit confusing. (like how you wrote yourself that kelvin isn't the MC). Anyway good job and i am waiting for next chap, + i see you changed the cover?

Anonymus_Nighter:Thank you for the review! As for the first three chapters, well, they were supposed to be long so that I can show the emotional struggle and the past in one go. But I get that you're just giving your view on it, so thank you for the honesty.
Anonymus_Nighter
Anonymus_NighterAuthor

Ah, I see. And yeah, I just changed it on a whim. Doesn't hurt to keep readers entertained with new 'arts' from time to time.

shamam0506:I do get it and I found it good, just telling to future readers that they should first get over the first chaps before feeling like its not for them because its a little bit confusing. (like how you wrote yourself that kelvin isn't the MC). Anyway good job and i am waiting for next chap, + i see you changed the cover?
Other Reviews
Buff_n_stuff
Buff_n_stuffLv12

So the writing quality is decent. Though lack of proper punctuation does make it confusing sometimes. Overall it’s readable and doesn’t feel like a translation. The story is pretty good. You get fairly invested in the story. I’d say the only real issue is the only character you get invested into is the mom in the beginning. The MC is quite bland. Doesn’t feel very human. Sophie the system girlfriend is just the MC worshipping type. Which once again anyone who’s had a girlfriend/ wife understands that’s a pretty unrealistic quality. Even when someone loved you the whole worship/ none of their own thoughts outside how great the MC is, is a bit of a character fault. I’d say there are two more faults that caused me to not go further with the story, and these might be deal breakers for other readers as well. Unfortunately these tend to be heavily overused on WN: 1.) very redundant writing. I think this comes from more inexperienced writers trying to hit word counts in their chapters. However there are a lot of “filler” paragraphs in the chapters. Such as saying the same thing multiple times in a different way. As well as reiterating the same thing, or re-explaining things multiple times. Unfortunately the writing is not very concise. Even in the first 30 chapters I found myself skimming over multiple paragraphs as a result. 2.) possibly the most overused device on webnovel and something that I personally detest as a reader. However, different people like different things. The “leaving the reader in suspense trope”. Prime example is chapter 26. MC gets a gacha spin, and the writer really draws out the scene. We’re talking half a chapter to just spinning a roulette wheel; mc and Sophie’s emotions, fear, etc… Just as the wheel stops, time skips and the reader doesn’t know what the wheel landed on. As a reader that’s just annoying. Don’t have me read 8000 words on a roulette spin to skip what it is. As I said maybe some people enjoy this device; however, I personally detest it. As a reader I prefer experiencing the world as the characters do. Unfortunately this novel has had quite a few instances of storyline incongruity. Where time skips forward, then a chapter later we find out what happened during the mini skip. Anyway the story isnt bad, and for more patient readers it may be a masterpiece. As for me personally some of the writing elements are not very attractive. As a result i wouldnt read, nor would i suggest it.

Sky_novel_lover
Sky_novel_loverLv3
Eldeel
EldeelLv15

A good book which has a very nice balance of story and romance. From the first few chapters one can get a proper vibe of the book. This sets up a pretty good foundation for the rest of the story. The story never tries to be other than it was introduced in the beginning, as a result we have a very grounded approach to the story progression. The mc is op but that’s never the concern of this book, the main focus is building relationships and personalities. The book adds a lot of new elements to the ‘Extra’ genre. We start with basic mc dying but intrestingly he wasn’t the one who met the Godess, someone else wished for the mc to be transmigrated. But the story he is sent to is a transmigrated Villain story. Its just intresting to see how the author just subtly incorporated this into the story. Normally I am not in the favor is systems but the system in this book has a unique charm and personality. Its actually a partner than a robotic quest generator. Writing quality of the book is actually pretty good with a good pace. The mc has a smart personality and does not act interact with the other 2 protagonists. He has in own goals and isn’t scared to change the events of the story. Nor does he care about the plot. Another important pro is that the author is actually active in communication. Even though the book has 160+ chapters , I still have a high chance of getting a reply from the author for a comment on the 40th chapter. This is very rare for most books. Again there are always some flaws like the academy tag, just being a plot device for introducing characters. I would also appreciate a bit more slice of life aspect to the story. It would be nice if the personalities and feelings of the FL’s would be more flushed out. I would have also appreciated a bit more world building. Because we somtimes I feel like we are dealing with a more medival vibe with magical devices but the next day our mc is in a amusement park going on a rollercoaster or someone is using a mini recording device to stay the mc. All in all this might not be the most unique book out there but the book knows what niche it is satisfying. And that’s something which I value very much, as from the beginning to the end I am getting what I paid for. This is a very good book for a casual reader and hope more people support and read this book in the future.

The_Local_Guy
The_Local_GuyLv1
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