webnovel
Mandy_Calhoun
Mandy_CalhounLv141mth
2024-11-15 23:23

Pretty good start. Could use a bit of editing for smoother transitions. The story moves pretty quickly and I feel like I’m missing some background information on the characters. It could be brought in later chapters to make the story more well rounded. Other than that, keep up the good work author. This story has a lot of potential.

Liked it!

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Related Stories

Rebirth: Pampered by My Children and Husband

After Lin Xu died, she discovered that the world she was in was a novel. Her eldest son liked to imprison the female protagonist of the novel, engaging in sinister villainous acts with a dark room play. Her youngest son would unfailingly draw substitute's blood and snatch substitutes' kidneys for the female protagonist’s legal antagonist — his unrequited love. Her only daughter was the romantic fool forever revolving around the male protagonist of the novel. If children are not disciplined, the mother is to blame. After being reborn, Lin Xu felt she should step in and discipline her wayward children. However, before she could take action, her eldest son’s dark, handsome, and usually cold face blushed slightly as he asked in a low voice, “Can I touch my head?” The middle son snorted and turned his head, his tone petulant, “I... I don’t want to go home, but if you insist, I'll do it begrudgingly.” The youngest daughter rushed over, mercilessly pushing her brothers aside, “Mom, come and teach me how to solve this problem~” Latter, both sons fought over the bowl of noodles Lin Xu cooked. What was a novel’s female protagonist? Nothing compared to their mother. The daughter transformed herself, letting nothing from any novel’s male protagonist interfere with her studies! The family was blissfully happy. Latter, the revived, amnesiac husband suddenly appeared, cornering her against the wall, his eyes full of struggle, “Even if you're married, I still love you.” Lin Xu pretended to be serious, “Is that so, then what should we do?” He hugged her tightly, his voice muffled and pained, “Divorce him!” Lin Xu chuckled secretly, “I’ll divorce him right away.” Latter, after the husband regained his memory, he said through gritted teeth, “Over my dead body will we divorce!”

Red tea cheese · Urban
4.5
173 Chs

The Little Brat’s Sweet And Sassy

The entire Yunzhou knew that the Ye Family had a new step-child in the house: Ning Li, a low-born and barely literate. However, when she looked at her 17 years old self in the mirror after coming back to life, she grinned. At 17, her step-siblings had yet destroyed her looks and stolen her glory—she still had everything with her. Since she was given an opportunity to start over, she ought to take revenge on everyone who had wronged her before. It would be interesting. After Ning Li was chased out of the Ye Family, she was cherished by the most popular solo singer in the entertainment industry, protected by the top international racer, courted by the heir to a multimillion corporation, and loved by her billionaire grandfather who wanted her to inherit the family business. Even Second Master Lu said to her, “Hold up you little brat, I think you should come home with me.” Rumor had it that Second Master Lu was handsome and beyond any girl’s reach until that one fateful day, when someone saw a drawing of a cool and proud young boy with bangs covering his eyes fall out from Second Master Lu’s book. The news spread like wildfire overnight, and on the next day, Second Master Lu was questioned. Ning Li coincidentally passed by, and upon considering her relationship with him in her past life, she stepped in and shut down the busybodies. Lu Huaiyu stared at the girl before him as he subtly put away the love letter in his hands and said with a smile, “I shall repay you with my body for saving my life.” A long while later, Ning Li saw herself in that particular drawing and she was silenced. She knew it was all a huge mistake.

Zhan Xiye · Urban
4.6
1251 Chs

Rebirth in the 80s: The Scholar Wife is Cute

Deceived into marriage, exploited for a lifetime as a nanny without pay, and finally beaten to death by her adoptive mother in front of her adoptive father's sickbed, Shen Mianmian's miserable life came to an end. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself back at fifteen. Shen Mianmian vowed to escape her past fate, punish her malicious cousin and adoptive mother, but accidentally shone too brightly in the process. The third-to-last student in school suddenly rose to the top, becoming the candidate fought over by prestigious universities, causing a sensation among all the teachers and students... While others were busy studying, Shen Mianmian was busy starting small businesses to make money... While others were preparing for the college entrance exams, Shen Mianmian purchased the two most notorious haunted houses in Beijing in one go... becoming an oddity in everyone's eyes, they mocked her that even if she had the fortune to buy them, she might not have the life to live in them. While others graduated and were busy looking for jobs, the haunted properties purchased by Shen Mianmian were requisitioned by the government, earning her a considerable amount of demolition compensation. Those who had mocked her couldn't help but slap themselves twice... inquiring everywhere where there might be haunted houses for sale. Shen Mianmian, originally needing to borrow money for tuition fees, used the demolition funds and leveraged her rebirth advantage to buy a suitable plot of land and built a rental building, transforming into a Beijing's wealthiest and most prosperous landlady... One day, Shen Mianmian, carrying a bag of keys and having just collected the rent, was dragged to the Civil Affairs Bureau. "Shen Mianmian, it's time for you to pay back what you owe me."

Yin Family's Sixth Child · Urban
Not enough ratings
838 Chs