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Breckie_Smith
Breckie_SmithLv12mth
2024-11-09 07:58

Hey! I hope you’re doing well. I just wanted to say how much I admire your amazing writing talent your story really left an impression on me, and I’d love to chat with you about it. I’m a commission-based digital artist and have worked on comics with authors across different platforms. I genuinely think your story would make a fantastic comic! You can also check out my work on DeviantArt under the name VanessaWick Feel free to reach out to me on Discord: losserishere Or on Twitter: @tirtatare

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Raj_Shah_7152
Raj_Shah_7152Lv14
Gian_Carpio
Gian_CarpioLv4

Ii hope this comment is helpful for the author since theres a lot of things author didnt thinka about. the readers still don’t know why the levels matter and i’ve read a hundred chapters. I doubt even author knows. Theres a lot of bugs in the interfaces the author has established. The MC’s contract doesnt make sense, is it equal exchange or what. Mc’s status doesnt show skills. Author doesnt show his pets skills he basically gives them a concept that they do in fights. One attacks and one heals thats it. The evolution concept is too vague. Etc. The author refuses to show sht. Author flexes his combat writing too much that it becomes stale since author refuses to show skills beforehand it smells like asspull when he finally does show it. What needs to be shown - Fenrir’s skills and the breakthrough points of Ena. For example 1000 Ena = get this skill. 10000 ena get this next one etc. We don’t even know his full set right now just basic passives. How other pets work. We know MC is special but we wont know how special he is without comparison. Also why doesnt noble houses just stuff their kids full of ena if thats the only way to get a strong summon? It might be rare but this is a noble focused world after all. Why would the Prince mole reveal himself for that one activity in the eternal dream realm? There’s no actual good prize in that realm that can boost the prince power. Atleast author hasnt shown any. If he listed stuff that can boost the prince hugely in the exchange list it would be better. If not then a long term mole is 100x better than random shit he can buy. Also set up a currency, while author is too focused on schemes the audience will fail to appreicate the root if they dont know its price in accordance to the world. This is world building 101. Like the dragon scale too. Also the first scene it wouldnt even make sense for there to be a terrorist attack. They should have just sent in spies then build ties to the weak students so they can turn them. Attacking the school seems dumb. It also doesnt make sense that their every activity doesnt go to the dream world. The author has to imply it costs something and has to explain why in certain times they can afford it and whats so special that they needed to use the dream world if it was a limited resource. The schools world building is also too paltry we see mc saying his room is small and that they could fight for resources to expand it but do they even have currency in the school? Exactly. Theres only so much better than average story telling can do to hide and patch up these holes.

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Pointbreak · Fantasy
4.5
1035 Chs