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idle_enthusiast
idle_enthusiastLv144mth
2024-09-03 22:39

this my opinion after read first 20 chapter. there is so much that can improve in this fiction: - to fast pace so fast that you barely understand emotion or even action of character, barely can feel mc frustration or anything with short and weak build up. - lack of explanation and absurdity it breaks the suspension of disbelief, suddenly a mundane guy made a sword out of junk and fought silvermane guard with pipe, even with the crew the fact he held himself against them makes no sense. - his interaction with other characters has no weight, most of his interaction feels forced so other characters think mc matters and mc dialogue feels either made so it can move quickly to the next part or fans try to insert their own opinion in the middle of the scene. - mc interaction and action feel like someone excited entering a game, skipping boring things and interjecting in part he wants to be involved in, feel like someone playing than someone lives inside the story. - talk big about changing things but by the end of the day just follow the original plot and only try to enter himself in the plot, his existence seems meaningless, still in the end he gets what he wants because that's how suppose to be in this story.

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bruhusrs4eva
bruhusrs4evaLv4

Agree wholeheartedly with your review. There was lacking sustenance in the story overall alongside it being too fast paced to understand anything. Mark didn't even get his appearance described in the 30 chapters I read, and the dialogues felt *very* forced and unnatural between him and HSR characters. Back to the pacing again, it really is too bloody fast. I could barely process a scene without the next one already happening mod sentence, and add-on some of the interactions between him and the inne monologues... yeah. Some of the important moments ( esp during the cocolia fight ) gave me second hand embarrasment due to how it was written, alongside the sudden power up that Mark conveniently gained to fight the stellaron within him, and calling it his will... The general impression I have of Mark is a self insert with meta knowledge, not even his appearance was described at all from those 30 chapters I read. It felt like I was reading somebody first try at writing and the author thought on how to make their main character 'cool' by any means necessary. I'll maybe read it up to 50, and see if the quality has increased by then. ( just noticed this review is 3 months old )

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