webnovel
idle_enthusiast
idle_enthusiastLv148mth
2024-09-03 22:39

this my opinion after read first 20 chapter. there is so much that can improve in this fiction: - to fast pace so fast that you barely understand emotion or even action of character, barely can feel mc frustration or anything with short and weak build up. - lack of explanation and absurdity it breaks the suspension of disbelief, suddenly a mundane guy made a sword out of junk and fought silvermane guard with pipe, even with the crew the fact he held himself against them makes no sense. - his interaction with other characters has no weight, most of his interaction feels forced so other characters think mc matters and mc dialogue feels either made so it can move quickly to the next part or fans try to insert their own opinion in the middle of the scene. - mc interaction and action feel like someone excited entering a game, skipping boring things and interjecting in part he wants to be involved in, feel like someone playing than someone lives inside the story. - talk big about changing things but by the end of the day just follow the original plot and only try to enter himself in the plot, his existence seems meaningless, still in the end he gets what he wants because that's how suppose to be in this story.

Liked by 29 people

LIKE
Replies1
bruhusrs4eva
bruhusrs4evaLv4

Agree wholeheartedly with your review. There was lacking sustenance in the story overall alongside it being too fast paced to understand anything. Mark didn't even get his appearance described in the 30 chapters I read, and the dialogues felt *very* forced and unnatural between him and HSR characters. Back to the pacing again, it really is too bloody fast. I could barely process a scene without the next one already happening mod sentence, and add-on some of the interactions between him and the inne monologues... yeah. Some of the important moments ( esp during the cocolia fight ) gave me second hand embarrasment due to how it was written, alongside the sudden power up that Mark conveniently gained to fight the stellaron within him, and calling it his will... The general impression I have of Mark is a self insert with meta knowledge, not even his appearance was described at all from those 30 chapters I read. It felt like I was reading somebody first try at writing and the author thought on how to make their main character 'cool' by any means necessary. I'll maybe read it up to 50, and see if the quality has increased by then. ( just noticed this review is 3 months old )

Other Reviews
Abhijith_Nair_1948
Abhijith_Nair_1948Lv4
AnonymousZ
AnonymousZLv4
Related Stories

Master Craftsman of the Pokémon World

Hikaru found himself transported to the Pokémon world, but instead of becoming a Trainer, he was now a craftsman specializing in item creation. In an era where technology flourished and traditional craftsmanship faded, artisans were slowly becoming obsolete. However, Hikaru soon discovered something extraordinary—the items he crafted could grant Pokémon incredible enhancements and unique effects. Ancient Relic Slabs, Transparent Bells, Royal Crowns, Reins of Unity... He gradually became a renowned antique craftsman across multiple regions. Rainbow Wings, Life Orbs, Volcanic Keystone, Eviolite... He also embarked on journeys to collect rare materials, earning a reputation as a mystical traveler. Choice Scarves, Victory Armor, Purity Pendants, Shining Charms, Dream Balls... Even items from the Pokémon Trading Card Game could be crafted through his mysterious abilities. He became known as the Unbelievable Master Craftsman. Along his journey, he encountered companions just as unique and ambitious as himself— An Aegislash who sought to create an ideal kingdom. A Lilligant devoted to the cultivation of Berries. An Armarouge obsessed with the art of forging. A Magearna skilled in mechanical inventions. One day, Hikaru turned to Ash Ketchum, offering him a peculiar item. "Here, Ash. Try this." He handed him a green die—a tool unlike anything seen before. A new adventure begins. [Raw: 精灵世界的工匠大师]

Zaelum · Video Games
4.8
130 Chs

Arcane: Thicker Than Blood

Piltover and Zaun are two cities separated by a single bridge - ironically called the Bridge of Progress. Above, Piltover shines as the City of Progress, filled with dazzling lights and prosperity. Below, Zaun suffers as an industrial undercity, poisoned by toxic waste and chemical fumes from above. And in the toxic Undercity, where children play in chemically-tainted puddles and industrial waste poisons the air, Cipher works tirelessly to transform his home's suffering into strength. Armed with his [Ready Player One] ability to adapt technologies and skills from different dimensions - particularly from the Apex world - he channels this knowledge into innovations that promise to turn Zaun's poisoned air into valuable resources, offering both jobs and hope to thousands of desperate citizens. But Zaun's transformation is as much about family as it is about progress. Caught between Vander's traditional values and Silco's ruthless vision for change, Cipher navigates complex loyalties that run thicker than blood. While Silco offers power through his newly developed drug Shimmer, and Vander fights to maintain stability, their conflict forces Cipher to choose between different visions of progress - and different definitions of family. ---------- ---------- I don't own Arcane. Kudos to Riot Games. Warnings: - AU - Apex - slowish - likely romance - MC is sometimes ruthless - MC from Earth - MC cares about family Advance Chapters on p@treon: p@treon.com/Malphegor If you'd like to support me but can't join P@treon, leaving comments or reviews is also helpful!

Malphegor · Video Games
4.7
39 Chs