So far I have to say that it has been very nice to read, the only thing that annoys me is that the training and missions lack detail, you could put a little more "color" to them. Here's my opinion, if you want it to seem more realistic like in Kengan or Kenichi, change the training a bit, like what kind of training he receives, no one, I repeat no one malnourished arrives and carries a military backpack with 40kg on his back, make a kind of adaptation in the training if you want to make it more realistic, as we have an elementary school boy (if I'm not mistaken) on average children finish at the age of 14, apart from the fact that he possibly doesn't eat well (pure rice doesn't contain everything a child needs to grow, so he's a bit malnourished) make it an arc of growth and adaptation, I don't know, it's your work. But if your goal isn't to be realistic, you're doing fine.
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I will implant a little realism, but it is Kenichi and Kengan where reality surpasses fiction, that is, in six months, Kenichi defeated people who had been training for years. On the other hand, this is that willpower is essential, which is what Takemoto, or any martial arts master, wants.
On the other hand, I hope you will like it. I'm still reforming Kei's personality this world contains complex themes with Kenichi and Kengan, what do you think, the path of light, darkness, or a gray person?
Sorry for the delay, I was working and couldn't get in before. Since you didn't explain what kind of life he had before this world, although you hinted that it wasn't bad, life in the slums with that family configuration (A mother who doesn't care, an absent father, siblings who are always "devouring" each other) tends to create an extremely realistic person sometimes very cold with their way of life that can walk between light and darkness often, so unless you use his past life as an anchor, I think he would be gray. Of course, as he's still young, the story is beginning and it's "easy" to manipulate integrity, so do what you want, although entirely "good" and "bad" characters are very difficult because it limits the writing and your decision-making, especially in a universe where there are people who kill without mercy.
rollo1019to:On the other hand, I hope you will like it. I'm still reforming Kei's personality this world contains complex themes with Kenichi and Kengan, what do you think, the path of light, darkness, or a gray person?
Yes, that's true. Although Kenichi is a master of imitation, at least in the beginning he didn't have his own style, but rather copied his masters, even the transitions were bad, and a lot of luck. I don't know if you know or if you're going to put it together, but Baki is set in the same universe as Kengan, I'm looking forward to more.
rollo1019to:I will implant a little realism, but it is Kenichi and Kengan where reality surpasses fiction, that is, in six months, Kenichi defeated people who had been training for years. On the other hand, this is that willpower is essential, which is what Takemoto, or any martial arts master, wants.
I already decided he will be an antihero, because of the things he experienced, it is the weight of seeking strength, I think the lesson is that he touched a bomb, without the proper equipment, you will understand later.
HeavenlyDemonCult:Sorry for the delay, I was working and couldn't get in before. Since you didn't explain what kind of life he had before this world, although you hinted that it wasn't bad, life in the slums with that family configuration (A mother who doesn't care, an absent father, siblings who are always "devouring" each other) tends to create an extremely realistic person sometimes very cold with their way of life that can walk between light and darkness often, so unless you use his past life as an anchor, I think he would be gray. Of course, as he's still young, the story is beginning and it's "easy" to manipulate integrity, so do what you want, although entirely "good" and "bad" characters are very difficult because it limits the writing and your decision-making, especially in a universe where there are people who kill without mercy.
It's not all bad, but it's not all good, and it will push your thinking to the limit with your experiences.
rollo1019to:I already decided he will be an antihero, because of the things he experienced, it is the weight of seeking strength, I think the lesson is that he touched a bomb, without the proper equipment, you will understand later.
