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bonnie0909766
bonnie0909766Lv15mth
2024-07-28 20:39

i will like to help you on how to improve your book performance publications profitability but am not sure if you on any social media platform to discuss further

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Skahra
SkahraLv14

I don't like writing negative reviews, but I sincerely hope you take this criticism well and not personally for future improvement. The main character is a "Mary Sue." Plain as day. Everything goes her way to the point where it's hard to enjoy any development in the story. Spoiler: she can turn food into energy despite being a cyborg and originally having to be recharged. The only obstacle is that she needs to blend into human society, which isn't that much of a challenge because of the amount of tools she has at her disposal. The plot is missing motivation and drive. What is her purpose? Well, it's to save humanity from the evil robots, but why? The only motive she has is because she was formerly a human, but the novel doesn't depict any emotion or drive out of it. Yes, I expected an overpowered MC, but it isn't done in a way that's enjoyable to read. For comparison, the difference between the anime, "The Eminence in Shadow," and this novel is that the MC has a clear description of his goal and how to reach it with obstacles that keep the viewer invested in the development. How? He literally creates his own problems, albeit in a weird way, in order to not only entertain himself but also to further reach his goal, which is to become The Eminence in Shadow (Watch the anime, it'll make sense to you). The grammar is mostly good with some typos. The description of items, environments, and battles are good, but the characters could use some more detail. I will still keep reading to notice any changes, and I would highly suggest an introduction with a proper prologue as well as a rewrite to the first number of chapters. Again, please don't take the criticism personally, I only wish for your improvement.

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