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KaiserLox
KaiserLoxLv49mth
2024-06-26 23:44

author san your mc should focus on building his familia and no harem

The Marvel Multiverses Vongola Primo

Alexander_Wilde
Not enough ratings
31 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies3
Alexander_Wilde
Alexander_WildeAuthor

For now (Chapter 21 - Latest chapter when this reply was made), the MC is still facing a LOT of problems. He first needs to establish himself and then create a good safety net before building his famiglia. Harem, well its not the MC's fault, its my own desire for him to meet women! Hahahaha! The MC would love to meet people like Steve Rogers and other strong and loyal people but unfortunately for him I won't approve of that! Not yet at least... anyway by this point the troubles are starting to build up and the MC will be forced to meet many people- some... familiar faces even *ahem* anime faces *ahem*.

9mth
1
KaiserLox
KaiserLoxLv4

how many woman he's going to have author san?....... i hope it's only 2-3

Alexander_Wilde:For now (Chapter 21 - Latest chapter when this reply was made), the MC is still facing a LOT of problems. He first needs to establish himself and then create a good safety net before building his famiglia. Harem, well its not the MC's fault, its my own desire for him to meet women! Hahahaha! The MC would love to meet people like Steve Rogers and other strong and loyal people but unfortunately for him I won't approve of that! Not yet at least... anyway by this point the troubles are starting to build up and the MC will be forced to meet many people- some... familiar faces even *ahem* anime faces *ahem*.
9mth
Alexander_Wilde
Alexander_WildeAuthor

at this point I'm not really sure, I want to keep it less than 5, it honestly depends on what fits the story. You know sometimes relationships, no matter how perfect breaks. I mean, look at Tony Stark in the MCU, he had endless fights with his one woman imagine having more than 1 Not to mention the MC is worse than Tony Stark, uber clingy also a bit paranoid... trust me, the later chapters made me realize that I may have done something bad with the MC's characterization... though I'm trying to make a plotline that would make him develop into a better human... hopefully...

KaiserLox:how many woman he's going to have author san?....... i hope it's only 2-3
9mth
Other Reviews
ODlUM
ODlUMLv4

Good so far.

10mth

Mann_Teufortian
Mann_TeufortianLv4

Good concept, but in my opinion, the story should be rebooted from the start. So you've got a Vongola/Gundam in Marvel with system concept, a combination which is pretty unique. What makes Katekyo Hitman Reborn great? Tsuna's relationship with his guardians, and how they learn from the first generation mafia family. What makes Gundam great? Giant robots, character relationships and the world conflict. What makes systems great? A clear progression for the MC, and fun lotto. What makes the MCU great as a location to set your story in? Everybody's seen the movies, so it's instantly recognisable. The main problem I see is that Giotto is the only real character, and he's got all the powers. But you made him too OP, so now you have to nerf him in the latest chapter. Again, this is only my opinion, and it doesn't really matter if you don't take it into account, but your first priority should be to delegate. In a KHR fanfic, the first thing to do is assemble the Vongola famiglia. through the system Gacha, by recruiting Marvel characters and giving them rings... it can be anything! then you can specialize: for example, Tsuna has two mechanics, you could give the job of building gundams to a guardian. I think your story has amazing potential, so whether you keep going on or start over, I wish you good luck. All you need to do is think things though, and not skip though important things too fast (like finding the kingpin just like that without explanation)

9mth
night455
night455Lv2

big fan of hitman reborn so love the concept. but will he recreate the vongola family and travel to goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

10mth
Anna_wiliam_6407
Anna_wiliam_6407Lv4

Finally I find vongolia fanfaction.............. .. ....... ... .............. ............... ....... ....... ..................

9mth
alexbabyyahoo
alexbabyyahooLv15

author hope you update soon 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

8mth
Theory18
Theory18Lv4

[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

9mth
Feebling
FeeblingLv6

Already dead.

9mth
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