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lightgel
lightgelLv35mth
2024-10-25 21:36

I had just read three chapters and I was already hooked on the story of Orion.

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NitrogenousBeing
NitrogenousBeingLv14

The author ShinGotLost will make you lost too with his first novel. Jokes aside, it's an admirable attempt at a first novel. However, too often I struggled to follow the story’s logic. The story also feels under-planned resulting in pacing issues. The story’s beginning attempts to give the readers whiplash with its multiple setting shifts. Characters feel flat. Interactions and dialog could use more consideration. As for the technical execution of the writing (grammar) — Proofreading software seems to have been applied properly and the flow of words is decent. But, there is some awkward phrasing. Overall it's decent enough. The release schedule is heroic — a testament to the author's resolve to tell an epic tale. The very existence of this lengthy review is another sign that the author has potential.   From here onward the more specific and rambly critique will require some spoilers, but I will endeavor to keep to generalizations: The beginning has readers flung all over the place. Before we can grasp the major revelations five more appear to make it feel irrelevant. Consider carefully, Is it necessary to use all these shiny plot points together? Taking them out slowly allows for time to make them brilliant. Perhaps, hold the rest in reserve and gradually release them.  A hundred chapters in, major limitations appear from nowhere that should have been hinted at better earlier in the story. Immediately after, those same limitations felt irrelevant because they arrived too late.  There’s a plethora of side characters with the potential to break the balance of the world. Yet they also seem irrelevant because we don’t focus on them much and the MC’s aspects already obliterated the balance of the world from the start. The MC’s one real weakness was his lack of knowledge but this handicap was auto-removed by simply being given the knowledge when he breaks a bottleneck. We have no indication the other transmigrators have any knowledge. Why is the MC so special? Also, did the MC need a divine-like fate on top of it all? (Yeah I know the chicken or the egg prophecy fate argument supports this but it's cringy.)   Character motivations, plot points, and the setting need a more detailed explanation. The readers expect the characters to pursue rewards and strength. However, the MC often ignores opportunities for extremely weak or unexplained reasons. For example, the MC abandons several opportunities because he can’t think of a way to do it without seeming awkward, weird, or suspicious. Frankly, the people around him that might notice mostly don’t matter and also have no way of knowing what the MC is doing. In the end, the reader is left thinking the author lazily forced the decision for the convenience of the plot.  The interactions between the characters are forced and awkward. Some characters will dislike the MC for no reason. Some will dislike him for a reason but grow out of it without actively interacting with the MC. Distrust and trust feel like they appear and disappear too easily.  Lastly, I will disclose that I’m not a fan of useless but diligent MCs given the key to godhood-type stories which this seems to be. Therefore, the story is going to need some compelling plot points and character relationships for me to continue much longer. Shin Got Lost trying to do too much too quickly. Perhaps, Shin could make a map. However, Shin shouldn’t get lost by focusing too much on the map, so the story isn’t forced onward without sound logic. Goodluck ShinGotLost! We want a story we can lose ourselves in.

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