webnovel
Apocc
ApoccLv155mth
2024-06-29 10:48

Yeah it’s a pretty solid novel, the story is enjoyable. My only gripe is with the dialogue between characters , it seems overly forced and it’s just written poorly half the time. Even then it’s still readable and it doesn’t the interrupt the flow of the story much. Overall pretty good story do recommend.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies2
ShinGotLost
ShinGotLostAuthor

Thanks for the review. As for the dialogue part, It's my first novel so I am not well versed in everything but I will improve eventually.[img=faceslap]

Apocc
ApoccLv15

❤️

ShinGotLost:Thanks for the review. As for the dialogue part, It's my first novel so I am not well versed in everything but I will improve eventually.[img=faceslap]
Other Reviews
NitrogenousBeing
NitrogenousBeingLv14

The author ShinGotLost will make you lost too with his first novel. Jokes aside, it's an admirable attempt at a first novel. However, too often I struggled to follow the story’s logic. The story also feels under-planned resulting in pacing issues. The story’s beginning attempts to give the readers whiplash with its multiple setting shifts. Characters feel flat. Interactions and dialog could use more consideration. As for the technical execution of the writing (grammar) — Proofreading software seems to have been applied properly and the flow of words is decent. But, there is some awkward phrasing. Overall it's decent enough. The release schedule is heroic — a testament to the author's resolve to tell an epic tale. The very existence of this lengthy review is another sign that the author has potential.   From here onward the more specific and rambly critique will require some spoilers, but I will endeavor to keep to generalizations: The beginning has readers flung all over the place. Before we can grasp the major revelations five more appear to make it feel irrelevant. Consider carefully, Is it necessary to use all these shiny plot points together? Taking them out slowly allows for time to make them brilliant. Perhaps, hold the rest in reserve and gradually release them.  A hundred chapters in, major limitations appear from nowhere that should have been hinted at better earlier in the story. Immediately after, those same limitations felt irrelevant because they arrived too late.  There’s a plethora of side characters with the potential to break the balance of the world. Yet they also seem irrelevant because we don’t focus on them much and the MC’s aspects already obliterated the balance of the world from the start. The MC’s one real weakness was his lack of knowledge but this handicap was auto-removed by simply being given the knowledge when he breaks a bottleneck. We have no indication the other transmigrators have any knowledge. Why is the MC so special? Also, did the MC need a divine-like fate on top of it all? (Yeah I know the chicken or the egg prophecy fate argument supports this but it's cringy.)   Character motivations, plot points, and the setting need a more detailed explanation. The readers expect the characters to pursue rewards and strength. However, the MC often ignores opportunities for extremely weak or unexplained reasons. For example, the MC abandons several opportunities because he can’t think of a way to do it without seeming awkward, weird, or suspicious. Frankly, the people around him that might notice mostly don’t matter and also have no way of knowing what the MC is doing. In the end, the reader is left thinking the author lazily forced the decision for the convenience of the plot.  The interactions between the characters are forced and awkward. Some characters will dislike the MC for no reason. Some will dislike him for a reason but grow out of it without actively interacting with the MC. Distrust and trust feel like they appear and disappear too easily.  Lastly, I will disclose that I’m not a fan of useless but diligent MCs given the key to godhood-type stories which this seems to be. Therefore, the story is going to need some compelling plot points and character relationships for me to continue much longer. Shin Got Lost trying to do too much too quickly. Perhaps, Shin could make a map. However, Shin shouldn’t get lost by focusing too much on the map, so the story isn’t forced onward without sound logic. Goodluck ShinGotLost! We want a story we can lose ourselves in.

Related Stories

Affinity:Chaos

Check out my other book as well Lunar:Secret Guardians ******************* "Grey, elemental affinity, zero" The Elder announced the result loudly On hearing this, it was like a bolt of lightning struck Grey, he stood there dumbfounded and just stared at the Elder. Shocked voices could be heard from the people and there was some which were also filled with scorn. Grey stood dazed amidst all the noises without any reactions. One word was constantly reverberating in his head, 'How?'. 'Why, why did this happen to me?' Grey asked himself over and over again **************** Unbeknownst to Grey, something greater lies in wait in his body.... *************** Check out the book, leave a review after reading, and also your powerstones. Hope you enjoy this, and Thanks for reading ^_^ P.S: When I started this book I had zero writing experience, so the first chapters aren't that great, although, my writing quality has improved over time. Also, English isn't my first language, so there are some instances where my choice of words are not good enough for what I'm trying to portray. A heads up, the book will be using a medieval setting. My world building is not the best, but it gets better over time, so bear with me on the early chapters! P.S: Cover art not mine I just edited it. If you're the owner and want me to take it down you can notify me. Other novel: Lunar:Secret Guardians Check it out as well! Discord Server: https://discord.gg/gs68a4ZzaN

Springs_Halo · Fantasy
4.4
1704 Chs

Brand New Life Online: Rise Of The Goddess Of Harvest

Have you ever felt like you wanted to live a new life as someone else? Have you ever desired to experience a new life without the limits that our daily lives always put us through? Have you ever had the crave for adventure and to soar across endless horizons? Brand New Life Online, a new Full Dive VRMMO promised to make all these dreams come true. Said to be a brand-new experience at life, an incredibly realistic game and acclaimed to be fantastically complex yet simplistic enough for just anybody to understand and enjoy, this virtual reality game quickly took over the entire world of video games, with new players soaring the tens of millions in its first year of launch! Elayne, a young mother, is suddenly thrown into this game because she wanted to reconnect with her daughter, but she’ll quickly find herself delving into endless conflicts, fights, action, and a world filled with history and mysteries… Will our protagonist be able to progress through these challenges all while taking care of her farm, protecting the forest, and also seeking her daughter? Who knows? Maybe she’ll even end up defeating a World Boss! Over 100000 Words available for FREE! Daily Chapters Note : Vote for the Novel for extra weekly chapters. 100 Power Stones = 1 Extra Chapter per week 200 Power Stones = 2 Extra Chapters per week 500 Power Stones = 3 Extra chapters per week 10 Golden Tickets = 1 Extra chapters per week 20 Golden Tickets = 2 Extra chapters per week 50 Golden Tickets = 3 Extra chapters per week

PancakesWitch · Fantasy
4.8
1389 Chs

Armipotent

This is a work of fiction, any names, characters, stories or events, are fictitious! (Even the country in the story is just the author's fantasy as the author never visited those countries in the story) Armipotent is an archaic adjective meaning "strong in battle." Basically, it refers to someone who is physically tough in war. Originally, it was used to refer to the Roman god of war, Mars. ===================== Tang Shaoyang, an orphan who dropped out of the middle school to fight on the street as he found out school was useless for a penniless orphan like him. Tang Shaoyang dropped out of his school, fighting on the street, and made a name for himself. Berserker Tang from Youyouliucun. Afterward, Dragon Wing triad recruited him and everything was good for him. Even though the public deemed him as a tumor of society, Tang Shaoyang was having a decent life. Until one day, everything changed as an absurd and strange game started. "... Game starts! Stage one: Survival for The Fittest!" After the game started, zombies appeared out of nowhere. ... Ding! "You have killed 1000 zombies less than 24 hours since the game started! You gained 3 Talents!" Dong! "You may choose 3 Talents! please choose carefully!" Tang Shaoyang held his chin and mused what Talent he had to choose. "With Zombies appear everywhere, I need an infinite strength... this is one, I still need to choose 2 Talents more..." Then a lewd smile formed on his lips. "I want an infinite strength, charm and charisma to conquer women, and the last one, I want to upgrade my **** so I can please my women!" After saying this, Tang Shaoyang laughed aloud. "Hahaha, there's no way such talent exists... ehhhhh?!!!" Ding! Dong! "3 Talents are consumed! You have been granted Divine Body! Good Luck, Gamer Tang Shaoyang!" Tang Shaoyang immediately checked the detail of Divine Body. After a brief silence, he muttered unbelievably. "Such Talents really exist..." Note: I don't own the cover. If the creator wants me to take down the cover or put credit, please notify me by replying to my review at the Review section.

HotIce · Fantasy
4.4
1806 Chs

Strongest Mage with the Lust system

[ Warning: Mature content R-18 ] Is death a new begining? For Max, it was. Max, a twenty-year-old virgin, got attacked by a bear in forest and died an untimely death. Fortunately for him... that wasn't the end to his story. In the next instant, he found himself transmigrated into the body of a noble's youngest son in a world full of Magic, wonders and... beautiful women. As if God was making up for his untimely death, he also got a system -The Lust System. "I can become stronger just by having sex?" Join the journey of Max and watch he have the time of his life and become the strongest mage the world had ever seen before. ______________________________ [Things to be noted] 1. From the title, you should've guessed it already but let me tell you the story will be filled with many sexual adventures. So... you are welcome to enjoy them..... 2. However... don't expect MC to have sexual relations with every woman he meets. I'll be focusing on the story, and would 'Try' not to blindly throw sex scenes left and right. 3. Most importantly, this is my first time writing so the the quality of first 50 or so may be a bit lacking (But it would cause you no problem if a few minor errors don't bother you). 4. It is a slow paced story. If you want everything to be explosive and fast, maybe this isn't for you. Important Note: If you enjoy the story then don't forget to vote your GTs, Power stones and also if you can, send some GIFTS too. This poor soul would appreciate it. Also check out My other work: [ Rise of the Strongest War God ] & [ My perverted devil system ] Happy reading~ ________________

Blizzard54k · Fantasy
4.5
736 Chs