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DaoistvlntTn
DaoistvlntTnLv43mth
2024-08-27 19:08

Best jjk fanfic..........Best jjk fanfic..........

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Victor_Venegas
Victor_VenegasLv2

Ok, I have a problem with the novel, the interactions of the characters are robotic, there is no feeling behind the dialogues, an example of this is the death of the protagonist's parents, both times, in the same chapter, it is just these characters warning that they are going to die like "I'm going to die, ok?" which removes absolutely all the weight behind the "event". Furthermore, the pace of the novel feels extremely rushed from one moment to the next, there are jumps of events without any type of development. Also from time to time there is a focus on things not very relevant to the general immersion of the novel, again for example, in the same chapter as the last example the protagonist creates a wooden dragon to test his powers (which he obtained if I must add without no effort) but for some reason the author unnecessarily adds a paragraph where he explains "improvements" to the dragon's design, I understand the point of view when writing because you as the author have an idea in your head of what happens, but it is redundant to describe it to the reader Because over-explaining kills the reader's ability to delve into the narrative. Lastly and much more personally, I understand the admiration for other cultures, but when reading a story of the type the author is trying to write it is difficult for immersion to suddenly encounter Japanese words and subsequently their translation even going to the point of adding hiragana or katakana, It seems like a poor decision to try to educate? Through a story if what you want is for the reader to immerse themselves in your world. Apart from this I wish the author great success.

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