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CASAN278
CASAN278Author11mth
2024-05-07 04:34

Hey All. Author here. If you have any constructive Criticism about the story so far. I would love to hear it. I still wish to improve a lot on writing . also any question feel free to sound off. I'll try to answer those as best as I can in this very earlier stage of the story thus far. Welp. back to writing I go!

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Alamin_design_Hub
Alamin_design_HubLv1

I got a request to make a full book illustration based on this book.

Other Reviews
Rezakiri
RezakiriLv2

I just binged this and I really liked it. Its a very unique story with the protagonist being beat down over and over again with no holds barred, many times to her own fault. The overarching plot is well written with the unravelling of the memory loss and the whole Rakon deal, making her remember experiences while killing off everyone relevant to it. Really sold me on the downward mental spiral. Here are some thoughts: There were two timeskips, both understandable, but quite sudden. I feel like you could've eased out of them with some development. For example, after the first time-skip you could've had a scene giving insight on Lillian's love-hate relationship with Kalika, or after the second time-skip made it so Rhonda was overly affectionate to the point where it was clear she was hiding something. Often times I felt that some scenes were too sudden and after something happens, the impact on Kalika is rushed. e.g. Rakon and her... yeah. She spent like 2 seconds mulling over it and it didn't seem to contribute to her demonization much. Feel like she should be hating Rakon a LOT more than just "I wanna kill all the demons including Rakon", considering he is the reason for most of her sorrows. Granted I did read really fast (because it's good and I'm curious) but characters like Bjorn and Azar I had completely forgot about but happened to be really driven/important, felt like they could've been developed more (like Jala). The world was only developed as much as it needed to be, which is fine, but I would've liked a little more description, maybe a perspective that allows us to sympathize with the fall of the country. The grammar and all could use some work. Sometimes the character names are misplaced. All in all, really nice. Looking forward to the next arc, especially Lillian's development. Has she really not forgiven Kalika yet? What is the real reason she's rejected the proposal? Is she gonna jump into the pit after Kalika? Wonder how Shes going to relate to Kalika's loss of humanity. The nature of the novel makes it a turn off for many, but I'm kinda hooked.

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[ Warning: Mature content R-18 ] Is death a new begining? For Max, it was. Max, a twenty-year-old virgin, got attacked by a bear in forest and died an untimely death. Fortunately for him... that wasn't the end to his story. In the next instant, he found himself transmigrated into the body of a noble's youngest son in a world full of Magic, wonders and... beautiful women. As if God was making up for his untimely death, he also got a system -The Lust System. "I can become stronger just by having sex?" Join the journey of Max and watch he have the time of his life and become the strongest mage the world had ever seen before. ______________________________ [Things to be noted] 1. From the title, you should've guessed it already but let me tell you the story will be filled with many sexual adventures. So... you are welcome to enjoy them..... 2. However... don't expect MC to have sexual relations with every woman he meets. I'll be focusing on the story, and would 'Try' not to blindly throw sex scenes left and right. 3. Most importantly, this is my first time writing so the the quality of first 50 or so may be a bit lacking (But it would cause you no problem if a few minor errors don't bother you). 4. It is a slow paced story. If you want everything to be explosive and fast, maybe this isn't for you. Important Note: If you enjoy the story then don't forget to vote your GTs, Power stones and also if you can, send some GIFTS too. This poor soul would appreciate it. Also check out My other work: [ Rise of the Strongest War God ] & [ My perverted devil system ] Happy reading~ ________________

Blizzard54k · Fantasy
4.5
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