This is a good story to translate. I apply your efforts. There are some things you could try improving, not on vocabulary or grammar or syntax, but on the "flow" of some paragraphs. Otherwise, exceptional. I have read the raw, it is good.

As of chapter 67, which is where I’m at right now, the translation quality dipped tremendously after about 30-40 chapters into the story. It went from feeling like an original fanfic to being blatantly a literal translation of a Chinese fanfic. The idioms and all that come out. Meanwhile the MC is an idiot who’s obsessed with the sect master and ironically, he’s playing himself off as someone not interested in other girls when he knows that the world he’s in is a harem world. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s clearly a harem story but making the MC this dumb around girls deliberately to try and focus on a single girl for the first selection of the harem is just so annoying to read. He likes mature women and yet he picks the 100+ year old virgin who’s, and I quote, “never let a man touch her hand before”. So yeah it’s a little tough to read for a while there.

Finaly a Mc that doesn't simp for every girl!

It was starting off so good and interesting then I got to chapter 9 and like he immediately became a cringey simp for the sect master when before he described himself as a monk. Worst part is he spoke his cringey thoughts out loud where he could’ve gotten killed while he’s so weak right now. In summary: Cringey Simp Seems like more girls attracted to him? Weak af Not smart Honestly if you don’t mind this then you might like this but it just wasn’t it for me.

Nice concept but a boring execution. I've read till chapter 10 and lost interest as the author seemed to have nerfed his MC and the system too much to make it enjoyable to read.

I feel like hitting my head over and over on a wall is more interesting than this fanfic, like it bores me to death.

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