The story is fine if you can get past the first 50 chapters. But the MC just doesn't provide me with a sense of comfort.
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Would you mind if I ask what you mean by "comfort?" I'm always looking to improve my writing! Is it a subjective dislike of the character and his motivations, or more of a true failing in the narrative department and how he was presented?
In a sense that whenever there is a Dangerous situation taking place, The MC's presence does not make me feel safe. It does not reassure me that the Characters I've grown to like, will be saved. Hell most of the time I'm thinking that Mc won't be able to save anybody. He just doesn't provide me with that sense of comfort, and is too naive. I can understand that it's not so realistic that he will be able to outsmart his much older opponents. But have you never read a story, where someone defies your expectations. Does, what you thought was impossible. But does it anyway, Like a story of a legend. I guess that's just me being picky, And I still like the story and will continue reading. (Currently on CHP 174).
TMKnight:Would you mind if I ask what you mean by "comfort?" I'm always looking to improve my writing! Is it a subjective dislike of the character and his motivations, or more of a true failing in the narrative department and how he was presented?
I think you make a valid point! I wanted to make a story where it felt far more like the MC was, at least at the start, just a normal dude. He wasn't some uber chad like Arthur. So many OC stories feel lacking in tension or worry because the MC can just waltz through everything in their path. In most anime or shounen in general, there's very little death or consequences, but I wanted to show that Toren's in a shitty world and he's gonna struggle to move forward. I will say that I'm writing DN as a story where things DO get better. Where things DO change and improve. There will be a lot of loss, but it isn't empty. (Also, I know that a lot of people read fanfiction for comfort. They wanna see their favorite ships or the roflstomp fights and everything else. DN probably looked like that from the outset, too. So I apologize that it probably didn't match those expectations. I set out to improve my writing skills through DN, but it probably didn't scratch the itch you initially were looking for.)
Ryujin_OP:In a sense that whenever there is a Dangerous situation taking place, The MC's presence does not make me feel safe. It does not reassure me that the Characters I've grown to like, will be saved. Hell most of the time I'm thinking that Mc won't be able to save anybody. He just doesn't provide me with that sense of comfort, and is too naive. I can understand that it's not so realistic that he will be able to outsmart his much older opponents. But have you never read a story, where someone defies your expectations. Does, what you thought was impossible. But does it anyway, Like a story of a legend. I guess that's just me being picky, And I still like the story and will continue reading. (Currently on CHP 174).
Yeah i get that, Which is why i said 'Its just me being Picky'🤷🏼
TMKnight:I think you make a valid point! I wanted to make a story where it felt far more like the MC was, at least at the start, just a normal dude. He wasn't some uber chad like Arthur. So many OC stories feel lacking in tension or worry because the MC can just waltz through everything in their path. In most anime or shounen in general, there's very little death or consequences, but I wanted to show that Toren's in a shitty world and he's gonna struggle to move forward. I will say that I'm writing DN as a story where things DO get better. Where things DO change and improve. There will be a lot of loss, but it isn't empty. (Also, I know that a lot of people read fanfiction for comfort. They wanna see their favorite ships or the roflstomp fights and everything else. DN probably looked like that from the outset, too. So I apologize that it probably didn't match those expectations. I set out to improve my writing skills through DN, but it probably didn't scratch the itch you initially were looking for.)
