Wowza! This was really good! I couldn't really find any mistakes, or anything else that was of issue. The plot is good, the character descriptions were great and the pacing was well-done. It held my interest and the end of each chapter naturally guided me into the next. Your characters each seemed to be their own person and were well developed which I really enjoyed! The opening line was also intriguing enough to grab my attention and pull me into the story. Good job!
Haizao
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