Review Detail of Inkbank in Primordial Shadow: Dungeon of Eternal Darkness

I have only read up to chapter three and I can tell that the story has great potential. I love the story idea and how it flowed from him being in the coffee shop with his stepbrother and stepsister in-law to his death. I'm not entirely sure where I stand with the pacing and that may be due to descriptions I suppose.In terms of description, it was quite alright but I feel like a little more needs to be done to allow readers to immerse themselves deeper into the world and character emotions you're creating with your story. From Austin's story in the prologue, it is easy to sympathize with him but just on a surface level. A little more description and readers will have a deeper emotional connection with him just from the early stages. Most of his story was told in several short sentences that did not allow a build up of feelings/emotions attached to it. This will also make the pacing seem less rushed. In chapter two; instead of splitting his physical actions into short sentences, all of that could be combined into a paragraph where his actions have a flow. Overall, you did a great job and I look forward to reading more.