Review Detail of EvilSovereignty in I was reborn as a hentai protagonist [Rewritten]
Review detail
Hey word of advice to you, you should remove character who really aren't that hot and pretty cuz it's just tiring for both mc and you and us cause you know how hen tai world is. Here check my list and you can remove the ones who aren't on the list cause it's just waste of your novel and too much of a headache for both you and readers cause we won’t get actual good character screen time
I was reborn as a hentai protagonist [Rewritten]
Godchaos
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And man, when I read Sumire's doujin, the interpretation I had of her was that she was a lonely woman and most likely failed in love due to her visual impairment, and decided to create/shape a lover of her choice, that's why I think Ren was chosen in the Canon, he was someone innocent and without any love experience and she easily discovered this through a few questions, and easily fell in love with Sumire after a night of sex. So letting her 'guide' their first meeting was more like a strategy for her to let her guard down around Yuuji, making him pass her little test, remember that in his life as Noah he had senses that would easily surpass hers , even though he is no longer in his old body, he knows how it works here and knows how to circumvent it.
EvilSovereignty:And what was that with sumire? M c should have taken the initiative after she started the touching and why are you writing a whole chapter B J bro? And why was it same as cannon? Lol and btw you should start with all the M I L F’S first if you do apply my character list
Master Piece world - Mira, Yuna, Nina Ane wa Yanmama Junyuuchuu - Aika Gaki ni Modotte - Yumi Otome Dori - Sikuragi Otome (not that interested in her, doesn't look that good) Gakuen no Ikenie - Marie (??) Shoujo Kyouiku - Sae Inagaki, Asami Hinada Kokujin no Tenkousei NTRru - Kaede (??) Toshi Dentsu - Hasshaku Uchi no Otouto Maji de Dekain Dakedo - Chiaki Douketsu no Mujina - Yuri Ankai no Umi - Sumire Kano
And btw change the system too like it's so trashy and it being without a annoying spirit, Just a intelligent ai would do or you can make it like manas from tensura and make her personality with she regarding mc as first in everything and you don't have to make him op as h ell but you can give newcome pack that gives something to protect all the girls I said above the list like giving them a mark where it protects them or repels all male Sigh use your brain man what's the point of useless system that only makes him travel through world and that world is a hen tai world bro worse choice with having a useless system who thinks it's something great
Thanks for the advice, but some of the worlds I put on the list are some of my favorite hentais, others were the ones I wanted to change the ending to (Otome Dori, Gakuen Ikenie, etc...) so I plan not to change them, sorry about that
EvilSovereignty:Master Piece world - Mira, Yuna, Nina Ane wa Yanmama Junyuuchuu - Aika Gaki ni Modotte - Yumi Otome Dori - Sikuragi Otome (not that interested in her, doesn't look that good) Gakuen no Ikenie - Marie (??) Shoujo Kyouiku - Sae Inagaki, Asami Hinada Kokujin no Tenkousei NTRru - Kaede (??) Toshi Dentsu - Hasshaku Uchi no Otouto Maji de Dekain Dakedo - Chiaki Douketsu no Mujina - Yuri Ankai no Umi - Sumire Kano
As for the system, I planned it to be a mix of the 'Strongest System', the 'Great Sage' and another normal system that releases tasks that he can or cannot do, it would be at Yuuji's discretion. So it's not that the system is useless, it's just that I needed to delay its debut a little, since in this part of the story it wouldn't be so necessary,
EvilSovereignty:And btw change the system too like it's so trashy and it being without a annoying spirit, Just a intelligent ai would do or you can make it like manas from tensura and make her personality with she regarding mc as first in everything and you don't have to make him op as h ell but you can give newcome pack that gives something to protect all the girls I said above the list like giving them a mark where it protects them or repels all male Sigh use your brain man what's the point of useless system that only makes him travel through world and that world is a hen tai world bro worse choice with having a useless system who thinks it's something great
Bro you aren't going to complete the novel anyway with how things are going and think about my list it's the best for writing a h novel
Godchaos:Thanks for the advice, but some of the worlds I put on the list are some of my favorite hentais, others were the ones I wanted to change the ending to (Otome Dori, Gakuen Ikenie, etc...) so I plan not to change them, sorry about that
Godchaos:As for the system, I planned it to be a mix of the 'Strongest System', the 'Great Sage' and another normal system that releases tasks that he can or cannot do, it would be at Yuuji's discretion. So it's not that the system is useless, it's just that I needed to delay its debut a little, since in this part of the story it wouldn't be so necessary,
Godchaos:I tried to explain the best I could. It will be up to you whether you continue reading my story or not. If your decision is no, I wish you good luck in your search for the story you enjoy.