Review Detail of SlothBYnature in HP: Magic Punk

this is tough, I don't want to come across callous but you need to hear some constructive criticism, you need to go back through your chapters and fix the sentences they end up having additional words that shouldn't be there, the constant () sections while funny at first feels very much like a wattpad fic, which is generally fine just tedious, and while no so much of an issue, vampires weren't really acknowledged my jk much so the interpretation of what they can/can't do is generally fanon, but I will state that generally vampire aren't capable of using magic in the commonly accepted fanon, I also think that you should get a beta reader to help flesh the chapters out, as they jump forward erratically, it feels like a fever dream with how it bounces around.NOW the good things, this fic is FUN, red is awesome, the main character seems cool and I'm interested with how he might get into hogwarts as he's 16, the vampire using magic is interesting and I'd like to see where this goes