Okay, first, let's start off with the writing quality. I think there's much to improve upon. The shift in perspective every paragraph is very confusing and hard to read. I recommend using a 3rd person style of writing since not only can you still write a character's thoughts, you can also differentiate them without making the text too confusing. Also, I suggest adding some more descriptive paragraphs to make the world feel more lifelike.As for story development, it's okay. There isn't much to complain about. Now for character design, I thought it would be the real Anos Voldigoad being transported to Tensura instead of a random reincarnated person with his looks and powers. But hey, I'll take what any Maou Gakuin fanfics I can find on this site. Yeah, that's about it.
X_MinecraftYT
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