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Unpaid_labour
Unpaid_labourLv31yr
2024-01-08 11:29

it's interesting bro....

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SPSD
SPSDLv4

I don't know what to say about this one. it's a pretty weird piece if work that feels... off to read. I started this without any expectations, but as I read, I was pleasantly surprised at first. It is an entertaining read and is a good way to pass time if you have too much of it. Though, all things considered, there is something very much off about the way the story is presented, the pacing, the dialogue delivery and the established characters. Lets go over all the Main points. Writing quality: I won't be lying, it feels like you are over compensating. In the few 30 chapters I read, I noticed quite a few peculiar words and sentence structures being repeated. Threads of Destiny, Cosmic Damce, Cosmic Order, Celestial Harmony, etc are thrown all over the place. It does not feel organic at all. It would be impactful they are used in sparingly, but throwing them all in just like that makes the work feel weird to read and even a bit disengaging. Story Development: Again, I won't be lying, the story development is awful. Sense of pacing is all over the place. In the very first few chapters, we get a climactic battle of Cosmic proportions, yet there is no engagement in the conflict at all. We know everything will turn out okay because we know the original Ramayana, and we knew that the Mc can't die yet, because the story needs to continue. The conflict between the Asura and the Devas feels bland and uninteresting. Not to mention we aren't even given a comprehensive understanding of the power system at that point, so such a large scale battle which could be used as a great way to develop the plot and gain tension was wasted. Another thing about the power system is the fact that the author introduces completely new elements into the story. Which is not wrong per se, but there is the fact that we don't even have the slightest understanding of even the most basic forms of power in the Universe, and hence, I felt lost and downright uninterested. Character Design: We don't spend a lot of time with any character. There are some dialogues here and there, which to be honest is not productive at all. The major figures do not talk as they should be, the writing feels way too poetic to read and the dialogue reflects that in some way or form. Dialogue is the way we get the most familiar with characters and it does not do that here. Major events are skipped over the in the matter of a few chapters or even a single chapter. There is a sense of alienation. The time that needs to be taken to get to know characters is simply absent. It is akin to not having a character to present at all. Updating stability: It is good. World Background: Considering the context of the Ramayana, the world building already gets a great score, solely based on the type of work it is trying to adapt. Short note: It is an somewhat good read but only to pass time. There is a lot of potential in the way it can be developed still but the opportunities one gets at the start of the novel are already gone. It cannot be classified as a gem or anything of the sort. In essence, a typical webnovel with a still learning author. Good luck author 👍, hope you get better at writing and deliver masterpieces in the future. I would suggest reading novels like Lord of Mysteries and Shadow Slave to get a batter sense of how characters and pacing can be set in the work.

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