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Vandalizer
VandalizerLv121yr
2023-11-13 10:16

I would like to thank you for the fascinating fanfic about My Hero Academia! Your unique idea fascinated me from the very beginning. However, I noticed some grammatical difficulties that might distract readers from the main story. I recommend that you pay attention to editing the text to make it even more enjoyable to read. The battle scenes could have been more detailed. Your fanfic has great potential, and improving your skills in describing battle moments could make it even more exciting. Don't forget that every writer goes through a process of improvement, and your work is certainly on the right track. I look forward to the next chapters and hope to see your talent develop!

[MHA: The Ice King]

Lox_Of_Sins
4.5
30 Chs

Liked by 3 people

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Replies1
Lox_Of_Sins
Lox_Of_SinsAuthor

Well your certainly polite about it haha. I would like to say I struggled with dyslexia so there will always be minor mistakes in the future, however. I will do my best to make it more enjoyable to read for the grammar police hahaha. Just keep in mind, I am doing this for my own enjoyment, not to be taken seriously, it’s a hobby for me.

1yr
2
Other Reviews
Jamesley_cadet
Jamesley_cadetLv2

this is a good story i don't agree with you about the steven universe is better then adventure time thing but that is not apart of the story that is just you'r wrong opinion

1yr

BALLSOFVIBRANIUM
BALLSOFVIBRANIUMLv13

5 stars for that fantabulous custom art cover

1yr
ZombieMan
ZombieManLv4

Cover image goes hard .

1yr
Lox_Of_Sins
Lox_Of_SinsAuthor

… what? I don’t know what to type here!?

1yr
Spelloyal
SpelloyalLv12

The writing quality is good, the stability of updates is currently more or less, it is not stable but it has a good number of chapters, however the author has already mentioned that there is no schedule and whether there will be 1 or 30 chapters depends on his wishes. The development of the story is weak, there is nothing much to mention other than the MC nerfs. The Ice King's power was nerfed with full use having a limited time and leaving the MC half crazy, the deadpool's regeneration power that the MC requested was clearly nerfed even more since after getting tired he doesn't regenerate his stamina. Where I left off he hadn't taken any damage so far so I don't know how quickly he can regenerate and if he uses energy to do so or is passive like Deadpool. The author put the MC in Deku's school, only for the MC to ignore Deku because if he didn't suffer he could change canon and not win One For All. Honestly, if it was supposed to be like that it was better not to put the MC in Deku's school . The character design is pretty bad because besides the nerfs, the MC is a 6'5 tall teenager with a beard. He would have been great in scenes like Jojo, Baki and Kengan Ashura but in BNH he is just weird. The MC is taller than Sato. In Crown's crazy mode the MC is extremely Cringe to the point of being difficult to read. I would be fine with the MC slowly progressing in power, but the Nerf of the crown prevents him from reaching the peak in his base state since several powers can only be used with the crown. The wordl background is BNHA, nothing to add. Overall it's a good fic if you just want to read about someone with Ice King's powers in BNHA, other than that it's a fic I wouldn't recommend.

1yr
Man_of_culture
Man_of_cultureLv4

interesting idea, but sadly there are so many grammar mistakes. Author really needs to prove read his chapters.

1yr
_DEKIM_
_DEKIM_Lv1

It is not bad. But it could be better. For example, he is just a toy of a cosmic god. For me, it would be much better if he were an anomaly, an error in the reincarnation system. So the gods Cosmics would be the protagonist's enemies.But that's just my opinion 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

1yr
YESandYES
YESandYESLv4

it's good but writing quality could be better

1yr
Drimy
DrimyLv4

Just started but don't care. This seems rlly interesting plz dont drop. I like the 2nd part of the quirk. The ROB is right ya need some spice in the quirk to make it more fun XD. Hope you keep up the good work!

1yr
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