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Daoist9Pvk1d
Daoist9Pvk1dLv21yr
2023-10-31 03:50

Great concept, but the characters need to be fleshed out a bit more, the supporting cast mostly. There's no Harry Potter without Hermione and Ron. There's a lot of exposition, but it's done in a pretty interesting way. There's a lot of blanks on how magic works in the original, and the theories explored in this story fit in nicely. Final comment, the author expects the reader to have knowledge of every event going on in the story, but it's been a while since I've read the original.

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RogueCrescent
RogueCrescentLv14
AshW0If
AshW0IfLv4

The book is pretty good. All things considered, the only two problems I have with the book are 1 not defined emotional example' it is always daphne said or she said' The book never gives clear emotions this make the characters fell less alive and more like dolls this can be easily solved if the author just used more expressive writing example 'She asked with a playful smirk'. Two, the mc doesn't change the story in any meaningful way, making it seem that the character is just a self insert going through Harry Potter but it does offer its own insight and good world building so it does kinda make up for it another thing about this book is the pacing, the book is just from main story point to main story point no slice of life or side arc and I think that the book can benefit with a little side arc that makes the connections that the mc has more human because spoiler alert the death of Vivien did not hit hard because for us it was just a few interactions so we did not bond with the character but for the mc it was months hence the book would have benefited greatly by dveling more into that relationship before her death with a mini arc. The author sometimes forgets about characters. Hence, they have not been seen for a long time even tho they are hella interesting. chough Ginny chough But on a more positive note, the Romance with Tracy (suffering by the same development problem as above ) is pretty good. The only 2 instances in the book where they were romantic was very well done, so hats of to that. Writing 4/5 Story 5/5 Character Design 5/5 Character Development 3/5 Update Stability 5/5 World Background 6/5 ( The author adds their own twists and makes the world better, so 6 )

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