Review Detail of Laziest_Pillow in My IQ System

Interesting story. The beginning is the highest point to me, including the prologue. Adam's struggles and daily woes are interesting, the way you have portrayed him a marvelous, the problems, and his reactions. Although I dislike the second personality thing, I think Adam would've been better as a character if those murderous tendencies were part of his "main self" rather than a separate personality. The system is not intrusive nor appears too much giving a cool balance and natural flow to the story, instead of, you know how most system stories go. While not bad per se, the new world/cultivation part is not that interesting compared to Adam's life on Earth, but this may be because of how early the story is right now. There are no pacing problems and you made Adam, and his master, compelling characters, especially his master in my opinion. These old sages always are cool in any story they appear. Your writing is good and your narrative is well played, there isn't much to criticize or speak about it. Overall a story with a good start.