webnovel
Drayven
DrayvenLv41yr
2024-02-08 18:18

only 2 chapters but looks promising a few tips tho ensure you a writing in character for internal monologues batman would think in a similar fashion to how he talks. draw things out a bit describe the surroundings doesn't have to be complex eg: "crawling out of the vent Ben as grey matter took in the libraries interior. dozens of book shelves arranged neatly filled the space leaving a small area towards the front of the room where the librarians desk sits. situated closely to the main entrance." notice how i set the scene without being too specific just described a standard library and the reader fills in the Blanks you only need to describe things like layouts or objects in the environment if they are important to the story like the layout of a secret lab or the light of a lamp post shape the scene how you need and let the reader fill in the blanks

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ZackDKaizo
ZackDKaizoAuthor

Thanks for your review, I'll try to improve upon that.

SAWOEN
SAWOENLv11

Read something like this before don't remember what name it was but it hade omnitrix inside dc universe it got boring after like 20 chapters

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