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Yesno555
Yesno555Lv131yr
2023-09-04 02:00

If the quality is anything like your other works this is going to be great

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Daoist4MxvaV
Daoist4MxvaVLv14

let's start it a good idea but there is so many things wrong with, firstly your mc father supposed to be the greatest talent in the school yet he lost his life to non -sorcerers, I felt would have been better if your family were normal ppl or at least 4 grade sorcerers and your MC is the one with special grade potential so it could be a type of situation where the mc restores the lost honor of the clan or something, next u are putting to many oc in the fanfic ,the showed us a year of students can only consist of 3 students , u could have just had nanami , the mc and the guy that died that was in first yr with nanami , also wants with the fraud zenin clan heir , major zenin ,the real heir is naoya , and his father is naobito zenin ,and they were around during this time , your lore is wrong, also how are u going to explain how the oc are not going to be prese t during when canon starts or are u going to add all of them and make it more difficult , gojo clan is already a branch clan in canon , gojo clan is branch clan of yuta former clan , also i know u are trying to make a rinnegan some kind of upgraded six eyes and your trying to hype up your clan bc u are failing , u got the abilities all wrong gojo abilities doesnt involve repulsion , attraction and creating black holes ,gojo abilities allow him to manipulate distance his abilities divided into 3 , negative infinity neutral infinity and positive infinity negative infinity allows him to create negative distance, bc negative distance isn't supposed to exist the universe tries to correct it self by drawing all there by matter into the nearby to fill in the negative distance , neutral infinity is just the infinity just stops anything in front of gojo , positive infinity does the opp , it adds more distnace in space , the universe corrects that by pushing everything out of that space , create more space for the new distance added , also the rinnegan visual abilities are nothing compared to the six eyes , the rinnegan cant see through walls nor can it see far distance , rinnegan at most can see at the cellular level while six eyes can see at the atomic level , see through walls, read cursed energy flow and see souls of individuals . , your mc had random change in character he went from being a loner , someone who likes to keep to himself , to a more cringe version of gojo also on top your writing style is cringe

DeLuque
DeLuqueLv1
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