webnovel
Danny_567
Danny_567Lv34mth
2024-09-16 16:29

Author i have read till chapter 10 ,the idea the concept are all good but you are forcing vocabulary on each line of the chapter ,use simple english and at some instances add complex vocabulary it rather goes well and it does not make reading a hassle because when i see your paragraphs and complex vocabulary i just read the crux and move on ,its just not enjoyable ,i mean look at warhammer they too use vocabulary but its not a hassle so maybe just improve your writing style for the readers ,Remember the reader is the one who reads and dont make reading a hassle ,your style of writing is just a info dump remember the story is not about complex vocabulary its about making the readers feel enjoyable.

Reincarnated with JJK Powerset in Harry Potter!

InAnotherWorld
4.3
21 Chs

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Other Reviews
General_Mahoraga
General_MahoragaLv3

With this treasure, I summon Eight-handled sword divergent sila divine general mahoraga!......................................................................................

1yr

GeeGeeTeeWuu
GeeGeeTeeWuuLv14

nothing bad to say about this story, 10/10

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ChrolloLoth
ChrolloLothLv4

The writing in this ff is one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen and everything that’s happening mwah chefs kiss now take my stone

1yr
Honoured_Writer
Honoured_WriterLv4

I‘m actually really enjoying this story so far. It’s plot is interesting as well as its story development at times but one thing that really draws me in is its way with words and how it describes different events. As a author that got into writing to improve my skills Im really taking inspiration from this when it comes to my own works. My only problem with it is it’s almost overwhelming amount of metaphors and descriptions really break the immersion, cause while these descriptions really help to visualise, too much just breaks the stroy flow and gets repetitive. That along with the fact that they’re some moments that can be skipped can be frustratining

1yr
THEL0SE4
THEL0SE4Lv4

i hope you don't drop this , i loved it up until now. My only concern is how the pacing will go.👍

1yr
Tiny_Tim_5672
Tiny_Tim_5672Lv14

Reveal spoiler

8mth
BigPanda69
BigPanda69Lv2

I hate it :) 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞.............................................. .........

9mth
Gh0st00
Gh0st00Lv15

okay I'll admit this is actually a pretty good fic I don't normally do reviews so I'll just say it's worth the read and who he is and who he interacts with he ain't no psycho MC actually got some brains but it's not like super smart and he's also not a psycho so that's a plus

1yr
Juwon_Oh
Juwon_OhLv4

It's a pretty generic start. The story starts to pick up around chapter 5. The story shines when it comes to the writing quality—definitely top-notch.

1yr
OnlyCanRead
OnlyCanReadLv4

Great idea and great beginig to be! The first time that I see a sukuna ff, I love the ideas you're trying to incorporate and can't wait for more! Thx.

1yr
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