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White_Devil1
White_Devil1Lv121yr
2023-09-01 19:36

Your writing quality is good, There are some grammar mistakes but I know that it will improve as time goes on.I hope that you will continue to write this novel

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Replies1
Salafir
SalafirLv13

Some? Dude we all read it it´s not just some.

Other Reviews
BobbyBrowne
BobbyBrowneLv2

I feel like the author writes this story more on a whim, without much coherent thought behind it. It feels like he just tosses a bunch of information at you at the start of the novel, and then goes off and writes random plot twists dependent on his mood. Characters just perform actions outside of their explained personality, which personally i don't consider character development,character derailment maybe. Way too much time is also spent on random scuffles not really relevant to the story, being labelled as main scenarios, but could honestly be reduced to a chapter or 2 and nothing would change. I think the more egregious thing however is the author biting off more than he can chew. He spends several chapters building up this world based on a potentially predetermined story, and without the readers even knowing much about it, he sets about changing everything. I frankly don't understand setting up this world around certain characters to just add more supposedly, spicing up the novel however I just find it confusing. It's similar to wearing a full suit then just putting on a pair of pink underwear over it for flare, unnecessary. I think trying to add surprising elements to the Mc's background is ok, however shoving it into your face 20 chapters in is just so jarring and such an uncomfortable upset to the pace of the story. It's like if you're reading a novel about killing the demon king, then you spent 20 chapters on stopping some bullying not relevant, 30 chapters on a dungeon that could be 5, meaningless character interactions yes please give me 25, now why don't we make the mc's family secretly demon worshipers and the female lead's family a group of anthropomorphic hamsters, oh wait what was the main goal again, the demon king? The novel is now 100+ chapters and the author is getting tired, demon king is too far away and the hamster arc still needs to be solved, gg go next. If you don't have 600 chapters worth of effort and time to put into a novel, please don't write it as such with so many plot twists and turns before you've even properly started on the main path. Sorry bit of a rant at the end but thanks for reading, even this review could be shorter lol.

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