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Husniya_S
Husniya_SLv121yr
2023-08-17 21:51

A captivating novel with great characterization. The premise is good and the synopsis got me hooked. This is a good storyline with considerable suspense. Keep it up.

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Other Reviews
Sinbau
SinbauLv12

The novel needs work, but like I say for any author I do appreciate when the author is passionate. Here are my notes for this novel: - The narration: it doesn’t come off as storytelling or listening to someone/the MC guide you through their perspective or convey their personal thoughts. It feels as if I’m listening to someone through texting -The grammar: proofreading is needed, as well as to differentiate what kind of quotation marks you want to use + the first letter inside the quotation is capitalized. For example: “Hey!” (This is proper capitalization and this is used for speaking or when MC is saying something out loud). ‘Oh.’ (This is used for inner dialogue/ the MCs thoughts). - The pacing: it’s very quick and jumpstarts into many of the conflict - Fillers: Author you need to depict which parts of the story or MC development needs to be highlighted. And from there you create chapters to convey this. And not put them all into 2 chapters altogether, the MC needs a ‘backstory’ -Base and Alt accounts: No matter who the author is we all subject to wanting to promote our work so sometimes we do this using other accounts, however when it comes to novel engangrment a reader can quickly see who it is that’s commenting on the work. So I say do it in moderation. And I see you have many chps uploaded but need more readers involved with your work. I say take a step back- read some other works that are similar to what you want to do with this novel and make revisions. This may mean restarting from the beginning- and that’s okay! I myself, rewrote my chapter 5 times until I felt like I learned from past mistakes. As for fan base connect with more people like the WN discord. This can also have ur work seen by new readers. Overall I see the attempt but I advise you author to read on some other works and get a sense of what styles you want to incorporate. [img=recommend]

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