-Demasiados errores ortográficos -En algunos capítulos hablas de la importancia de los secretos, pero cuentas todo lo relacionado a tus poderes a tus padres... para mi eso es un gran No. Con la cantidad de seres que pueden leer la mente en ese mundo, da la impresión que simplemente no le importa su familia al contarles todo. - Usas mucho las estadisticas en cada capitulo. Mucho de lo escrito es Número y niveles del sistema. - Usas IA? - Creo firmemente que falta desarrollo de sus habilidades , el hecho de que empieze 15 años despues y solo pueda usar magia de viento... Es una falta de desarrollo en el esquema de magia que deseas usar. - Las relaciones se sienten monótonas, creo que es la falta de diálogo. - Veo que actualizas con frecuencia eso se aprecia. - Falta detallar la construcción del mundo y del entorno. Sería apropiado poner fechas y descripciones de donde se encuentra o localizaciones que faciliten al lector la inmersión a la lectura.
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-Too many spelling errors -In some chapters you talk about the importance of secrets, but you tell everything related to your powers to your parents... for me that is a big No. With the number of beings that can read minds in that world, it seems impression that he simply doesn't care about his family by telling them everything. - You use statistics a lot in each chapter. Much of what is written is Number and system levels. - Do you use AI? - I firmly believe that there is a lack of development in his abilities, the fact that he starts 15 years later and can only use wind magic... It is a lack of development in the magic scheme that you want to use. - Relationships feel monotonous, I think it's the lack of dialogue. - I see that you update frequently, that is appreciated. - The construction of the world and the environment needs to be detailed. It would be appropriate to put dates and descriptions of where it is located or locations that make it easier for the reader to immerse themselves in reading. It's called Google Translate, it's not difficult.
HangerBaby:image
galks:-Too many spelling errors -In some chapters you talk about the importance of secrets, but you tell everything related to your powers to your parents... for me that is a big No. With the number of beings that can read minds in that world, it seems impression that he simply doesn't care about his family by telling them everything. - You use statistics a lot in each chapter. Much of what is written is Number and system levels. - Do you use AI? - I firmly believe that there is a lack of development in his abilities, the fact that he starts 15 years later and can only use wind magic... It is a lack of development in the magic scheme that you want to use. - Relationships feel monotonous, I think it's the lack of dialogue. - I see that you update frequently, that is appreciated. - The construction of the world and the environment needs to be detailed. It would be appropriate to put dates and descriptions of where it is located or locations that make it easier for the reader to immerse themselves in reading. It's called Google Translate, it's not difficult.
bruh you're a hero
galks:-Too many spelling errors -In some chapters you talk about the importance of secrets, but you tell everything related to your powers to your parents... for me that is a big No. With the number of beings that can read minds in that world, it seems impression that he simply doesn't care about his family by telling them everything. - You use statistics a lot in each chapter. Much of what is written is Number and system levels. - Do you use AI? - I firmly believe that there is a lack of development in his abilities, the fact that he starts 15 years later and can only use wind magic... It is a lack of development in the magic scheme that you want to use. - Relationships feel monotonous, I think it's the lack of dialogue. - I see that you update frequently, that is appreciated. - The construction of the world and the environment needs to be detailed. It would be appropriate to put dates and descriptions of where it is located or locations that make it easier for the reader to immerse themselves in reading. It's called Google Translate, it's not difficult.
