Review Detail of Tifala in On the Paths of a New World
Review detail
It is possible to single out the first chapter, which introduces a well-constructed dialogue, descriptions and thoughts of the main character to the work. But then there is a feeling that the hero has forgotten all the information about the world he got into, but at some moments he remembers. There are funny situations, but for 3 big chapters it is not known what the main character looks like and much more. I am not familiar with the original from where the author draws inspiration, but I recommend first of all to avoid the intersection of the plot of ranobe with this novel. It was possible to make a relocation from childhood through the passage of time, thereby avoiding the possibility of crossing with the original, and it would be interesting.
On the Paths of a New World
Astronix
Liked by 3 people
LIKEReplies1
Thank you for your insightful feedback on my work. I genuinely appreciate the time you took to read and provide constructive criticism. Regarding the character's fluctuating memory, I'm glad you noticed it! This was indeed a deliberate choice on my part and it plays into some developments that will unfold as the story progresses. It's reassuring to know that readers are picking up on these subtleties, and I'm excited for you to see where this aspect of the story leads. As for the main character's physical description, the lack of direct detail in the early chapters is intentional. I want to portray the protagonist as an "ordinary" individual without any distinguishing features, reflecting his reality. However, as the narrative unfolds, you can expect to see a deeper exploration of his character and potentially some surprising developments. Your comments about the plot's intersection with the original "ranobe" have given me much to consider. While drawing inspiration from other works, it's indeed crucial to maintain a distinct narrative to avoid confusion or distraction for readers. Your suggestion of using time progression from childhood is a compelling idea that could add a fascinating dynamic to the story, and I will certainly ponder upon this idea. Once again, thank you for your thoughtful feedback. It's through perspectives like yours that I can continue to improve and evolve my writing. I look forward to bringing you more exciting chapters in the future. Best Regards,