To me this is a great story I can only hope like many of the rarer fanfics out there that center on less traditional worlds that this one doesn’t get dropped. Just a couple suggestions I think would help. 1. When adding a prominent harem member such as Yuna in a excellent story that does do lemon scenes I believe you should just commit to writing the full lemon start to finish after so many chapters of build up not a quick skip from the relationship development to the end of the lemon. Cut the side character harem members to the half scenes. 2. He got the menu that’s present in ff games but he’s not gaining skills that we are getting to see in a menu format. I know it’s prob annoying to write out but just maybe after each new world a good update with some new skills. Doesn’t have to be a system reliant fic like lots of others but we have all spent days staring at equipment abilities in ff9, materia levels in ff7, and that amazing yet huge sphere grid in ffx. It would make sense maybe too late now but maybe he powers up by those specific methods in those worlds only but stats remain when he leaves or maybe only half stats from each world are perm unless in that world. Like ffx doesn’t do levels but they have a system to add str,mag, etc. 3. Lastly the team member ‘screen time’ I guess I would call it. Just a suggestion or maybe a question? The start of the fic tells a lot about his love and mental reliance on ff9 as an escape of sorts in previous life but the characters other than garnet that I would thing he would call or have a more prominent relationship with more so then any would be his childhood heroes. I’m sure based so far they are busy and you’re setting up for future but some have like 0 screen time so it just confused me. All in all regardless of the advice or annoying review lol I think it’s a great fanfic I hope any of what I said helps in anyway. Keep up the good work.
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