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Thalia_Ilace
Thalia_IlaceLv101yr
2023-06-22 08:47

I read Chapter 1 & 2 for reference~ First things first, I will say that there really weren't any grammatical errors that I found, and there was only one word usage issue, possibly a second although that one I'm not 100% on, that I found, which is pretty impressive and I'd like to say good job. I think the female in the first chapter was described very well and I think you did a really great job with her descriptions, however I think you dropped the ball on doing that for the main character, there was no descriptions for him. Which was disappointing because I think that you are capable of doing a good job with that if you had described him. I think there could've been more world description, you did really well in describing the lab, but outside of that there wasn't much. The AI world, while you described so much of what was happening, I wish you had described more of what this world looked like. All in all, I think the plot is good and so far seems well done. I think that this will appeal to a lot of people and I see it doing well. Overall, good job and good work!

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Other Reviews
MotivatedSloth
MotivatedSlothAuthor

Hello everyone, MotivatedSloth here! As explained in the synopsis, rather than a review of the story itself or a humble-bragging of the author singing praises of his own work, here is some more or less technical info that you might be interested in: - In regards to romance - While there will be several important girls playing their part in the plot and several potential romantic interests, in this story I’m (unlike in any other novels of mine) putting much greater weight on the story and much lesser attention to the romance. As such, while relationships between characters are a vital part of the story, I won’t be pushing for any forced or lucky developments just for the horniness' sake. - H4rem? - No… and no? This calls for a bit better explanation as nowadays it's hard to say what’s still a normal relationship and what’s already a h4rem. In short, my mc’s goals are not about getting a feel of everything that walks on two legs. And to a degree, monogamy is just as common in the world of the story as it is in real life. So while it might not be obvious who will even be the real romantic interest (as there will be several) there is, in fact, the main girl. I’m just not going to make it as obvious as others tend to be. - Is this, in any sense, an adult book? - Yes. I don’t house even a shred of doubt that certain developments in this story might go beyond what young people should stray away from. This is supposed to be a dark, nitty-gritty novel that takes your expectations of a fantasy world and puts it into the grinder of a multi-dimensional and complex reality. Magic isn’t the ultimate solution to everything, the power of friendship won’t appear to save the day against an overwhelming enemy. And when forced into a corner, the characters will have to make hard calls rather than small concessions. So yeah, blo0d and sp*rm will be prominently featured in this novel, although I will try to keep all within a relatively good taste. - Is this a VR novel or a fantasy one? - In all honesty, I’m more inclined to classify it as a “low” fantasy? Originally this term describes a story that takes place in a “real” world with the added touch of magic/werewolves/different dimensions. And at its core, this is what this novel is about, an adventure of a man forced into dangerous circumstances with a mission to find a way out. But let’s not claim there are no elements of VR. The fact that everything practically happens in a VR has an insanely heavy influence on the rules and the lore, although it only plays a secondary part most of the time. - What’s the release rate? - Welp, I would love nothing more than to claim I can do two or three chapters a day… But that’s not real. Not with how long the chapters for this story are coming out. So let’s say… 1 chapter/day 7 days/week. I will try to figure out a posting schedule and stick to it but well, you know, life happens. Still, once I find some time to redirect parts of my focus away from other projects, I might raise it to two/day. - If you have any questions, feel free to post them in the comments to this review or in the novel itself, and I will do my best to reply in a timely manner. - If you want to support this novel, make sure to vote/comment. If you are feeling exceptionally generous today, dropping a review would make my day! - Once again I'm encouraging you all to join the discord, as this is the first time I will actively try to post some references/maps over there to make the story easier to understand. And with that, I wish you all the best and hope you will have a blast reading this piece!

Thefantastictouch
ThefantastictouchLv4

Stopped at chapter 2. When I begin books , i always go in with the thought : " I'll read at the very least 10 chapters and drop it if i can't". And i tried to do exactly the same thing with this one. However , the first two chapters were too hard to digest for me. * The pros : - The writing quality is above average. - The chapters are long. * The cons : - Trying to do everything all at once is not easy. When we start a book , we are firstly interested in the main character , since he is the one that introduces us to the plot. Therefore , it's essentiel to present your main character to the readers in the very first chapter. This way , they quickly get drawn into the story. But what is a good Mc without a good reason to start his journey ? Hence , it's also important to introduce both things quickly and effeciently. Here , the author understood this. But he tried to do everything all at once to quickly start the plot-line and failed. Not only did the frist chapter not tell us anything compelling about the Mc , the reason why he was sent to this world was also quickly dealt with. Then why was the chapter so long ? Because by rushing things as he intended to , the author knew he risked getting some people confused. Hence why he delved into long and tedious-to -read-through, paragraphs of explainations. So needless to say , that first chapter was really badly executed. Then what about the second one ? It was worse. In that chapter , we were propelled into the Vr world where the Mc was.... fighting . And that's all we were shown. This whole chapter was basically about action , and nothing was properly explained. It was also very long , which in turns prolongs the frustration of not knowing what happens . What about introducing properly the vr world ? What about expanding our understanding of the Mc ? Such important points were ignored at the profit of fights whom we do not even care about since the one fighting is so distant to us that we don´t care about him too. All in all , the plot progression isn´t encouraging. - " why are you running ?" I want to ask the Mc that . Why are people so focused on vr ? Is there a famine in their world ? Is their world on the brink of death , which pushes them to drown themselves into vr to cope with it ? Would it prevent any world-wide catastrophe from happening ? We don't know why a better connexion and immersion into the vr world is so dear to that world. "If he fails ,he dies " only serves as a mean of pression so that the Mc gets the plot started. But it doesn´t explain why the gouvernement and the whole world is so interested in the vr world . This absence of clear stakes is further not engaging. - The updates are irregular I've had this book in my librairie for a long time already. And it hasn´t even gone past the hundred chapters boundary yet. It's true that the author has many others books. However , if he was organized enough , it wouldn´t be a problem in the first place. So what to say in the end ? I droped this book early but some of you might be patient enough to go further and like it so read it if you wnat to. Also , may God help you with your works author . Over all note : 2,5/5 ( ~ average)

Cosmictear
CosmictearLv15
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