Legit don't know if you fixed eventually, but stop with "it is not" or "do not" or "will not" use "isn't", "don't" "won't" makes it more realistic because every american speaks with these and its pet peeve of mine when daiolgue or monologues are said in ways that dont match the era the story is set in. Like you're typing as if we were in the 1800 with this shit. Other than that you're fine really.
_oinkchan
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