webnovel
senpai_mob
senpai_mobLv11yr
2023-10-04 07:17

I read the beginning and I really like the story so far. I also like the world building and its mystery! looking forward to reading more!

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies1
VERSON
VERSONAuthor

Thanks!

Other Reviews
Daoist30ArYr
Daoist30ArYrLv1

I've read until the first time Ophelia and Mika meet, at the end of the exam. The system is interesting and some sort of non-isekai getting game'd but for Mika. I think there's gonna be some subversion which make this interesting, yet I'm not into much this worldsetting. Still, it has some hook. Gotta say, I'm not into this kind of power-trip "fantasy has to be like an rpg" + HxH tropes, and the writing has problems. First, grammar. Revise it. Second, there's out-of-nothing information dumps or little to no info when things happen, making it kind of dissonant. I'm a mangaka, so I can't give many writing advice beyond *rythm*, and with a story that begins with a mystery, information should be done little by little, and not give spoilers beforehand. Let the reader see that he will win without the narrator telling them when and how before the action happens. Otherly, the descriptions of physical appearances are too much vague. We don't have much info about how it does resemble our world. What is a military uniform in this context? Is it Medieval? Is it Modernist? From were? What kind of robe? What kind of badges? Or the weapons. What's the type of sword the MC has? Is it straight? Is it pointy towards the end? Diamond cross section? Is the cross section maybe hexagonal? Has a fuller? Maybe leaf-shaped? Maybe it's the format of Webnovel that doesn't let authors to put in-between illustrations to give visual information, and it's something that it's seen on the purchased version, which unfortunately, I'm currently unable to have. Still, remind you that even with all the criticism, it has hook and expected subversions of the tropes, so I'm hopeful this arrives to good ports. Good luck and good writing, friend!

Related Stories

Lackey's Seducing Survival Odyssey

The world was cruel..... Especially for those who had lost their chances to shine. Aether was one of them.... Born with a golden spoon... yet, he was cast aside like a defective product. He longed for love, for warmth—but all he received was pain. Yet, he smiled, not because he wanted to, but because he had no other choice. With nothing but a broken heart and a hollow laugh, he stepped into the hell called society. "Can't you do a single thing right?!" "…Heh" "You're fired!!!" "…W-Wh…He" "I'm sorry, sir, but you need at least a bachelor's degree to apply." "…I-I am…Heh" "We can’t approve a loan without collateral." "…W-Why?" "Your father’s a politician, right? So, you know…" "…" The so-called society didn't welcome him very well... Yet, He pressed forward! After years of struggle, he finally secured a job—only to be reminded of his place. "Yeah, yeah… I know you got the job thanks to me. So don’t ever contact me or MY parents again," his brother sneered. "...Heh..." And just when he thought he had finally earned a sliver of recognition— "HONK!! HONK!!" Fate was merciless. A split second, a cruel twist, and his already miserable life came to an abrupt end. Yet, as the darkness closed in, he screamed into the void— “I JUST WANT TO LIVE!!!!!” A will that even the universe listened. !~Ding~! Reborn into a new world, Aether thought he had finally been given the chance to truly live. But instead of peace, he found himself in yet another struggle—not just to survive, but against something even more dangerous… Seduction!! Not just any seduction… but a mission to seduce and save the most unattainable women in existence! Seducing the Princess of an Empire! Seducing the Hero’s Mother! Seducing the Villain’s Wife?! ..... ... .. And the list only kept growing… He, a Mere slave, seduces them all.... WHAT KIND OF F## UP LIFE WAS THIS?!! But it wasn’t OVER—far from it.... These women… were even worse!! One wrong move, one careless mistake… and his life could be erased from existence! One thing became painfully clear—if he ever wanted to survive in this hellish world, there was only one path forward. He had to seduce them all. _________________ Release Schedule:- 2 Chapters Every Day! But wait—there’s more! Want extra chapters? Your support makes it happen! Power Stone Rewards: 1- Extra chapter every 500 PS! Golden Ticket Rewards: 100 GT = 2 Extra Chapters For every additional 50 GT, 1 more chapter will be added! If we break into the Top 100, 5 extra chapters will drop as a celebration! Of course, Gifts are also welcomed—every bit of support fuels more chapters and more excitement! Each Magic Castle = 3 Bonus chapters Each Spacecraft = 6 Bonus chapters Each Golden Gachapon = 10 Bonus chapters So, dear readers, rally your stones and tickets—not at me, of course… (Or should I be worried?) Either way—buckle up and enjoy the ride! Discord Server Link: 6JA46z23bw

AbiLIon · Fantasy
4.6
961 Chs