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Ollies_LIN
Ollies_LINLv11yr
2023-05-26 23:49

The cover looks beautiful, I really enjoyed the switching POVs. I was really sad at the beginning when they died. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes. The world-building is impeccable. I really hope Kaede and Yui get together, but I also really ship Luna and Ellen so harem maybe??? I dunno, I guess I'll have to wait and see.

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Dubsora
DubsoraAuthor

I'm glad you're enjoying my story. It's hard to do world building in first person like how I'm doing, but I'll continue to do my best. Story is far from over <3

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Yuri_is_Life
Yuri_is_LifeLv12

To be honest, although I appreciate the passion of the author (daily updates) and free chapters, I unfortunately have to drop. 1 The whole world feels very "naive" and straightforward. One dimencional. There are bad guys, there are good guys. Everything works directly and openly, no tricks and other things. Such a world seems rather ridiculous. 2 I don't feel the chemistry between the heroines. And I can't believe the depth of their feelings. They had a high school romance for a year before reincarnation, but this does not at all explain their obsession with each other during the 15 years of their new life... moreover, the obsession is quite superficial. Although Kaede vows to find her lover in the new world, she does absolutely nothing to do so. (And considering the guild's very convenient message system, one could at least try) 3 The author is trying to make a work from the perspective of 2 heroines. And unfortunately, I can't call it a success. On the one hand, we have the vampire Kaede, who got interesting action scenes, a "hard past" and absolutely OP. But in contrast to this, she is an absolute idiot (it would seem that living under the eternal fear of death should teach you something??? But no. She's just suicidal. The problem is not finding her. She finds them). She also developed the complex of a typical issekai hero - saving slaves and killing slavers... And the worst part is that she was followed by absolutely uninteresting characters (these same former slaves). On the other hand, we have the aristocrat Yui - she passes through a typical academic arc. She is also strong, but in a more realistic sense (not at the level I killed a god at the age of 5, but - I train hard and am the strongest among my peers). She has a friend with whom the reader builds a strong emotional connection. Her various acquaintances are also interesting in general. But any action scenes with her are of course very bad, because it makes little sense to watch her kill goblins when the first heroine hunts a dragon. Well, in general, there are practically no interesting events in her life. It would be a perfect Slice of Life, but alas. To be honest, I would be more interested in a different story.: - Just a Yui story. Add more plot and depth to it, give her Luna as a partner, and it won't be very unique, but a decent story. - Either the same thing, a pair of Yui +Luna against a crazy Kaede. It will be quite dramatic, but also interesting.

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