Honestly you have the skills to write a better fanfic, the only thing your missing us character development. I read the first 5 chapters and new nothing about the character at all besides his power were not given names his personality or much of who he is as a person. The fanfic feels dry and boring as no side character development is made, we can't get attached at all the the novel, it's like watching a nature documentary but in black and white. You know what's happening but feel nothing towards what's happening because we're not connected to any characters. Your grammar is great, writing style needs work, to fast past, but it's character development you need to work on.
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