[ Zach was a simple person, and had never had any sort of grand ambition or goal for his life. He was a simple 9-5 burger flipper for a local McDonalds, though he was weeb and often read manga online. He attended a monthly anime convention that included his favorite anime, One Punch Man.] This was far more interesting than everything you had written in your story, because it actually seemed you had an idea of what you wanted to write, but you wasted time on other things like a system, meeting, god, status updates. We don't get information enough information about him. It would have been a good read, but the execution was wasted on things that feel like a [ I will drop this story in the future, because I don't really care.] type of fanfiction.
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LIKEBut despite what I had said. If you want to write an interesting story. I would say place yourself in the shoes of the person you are writing about. At the end of the day. When people write most of the time you are placing a piece of yourself and memories into something that isn't real and creating a story out of it. The best way to write scenes is to think back on your life or certain periods of your life and events that you've already lived before and use that as a form of inspiration, because writing that way makes the scene vivid and clear and depending on how you wrote it, people can imagine what you write, as if it were happening right in front of them. Just don't throw a bunch of descriptions in their faces and thoughts in their faces. Keep it simple and understand why there are things in stories that you like and keeps you interested and try it in yours.
Agreed. Way too focused on the stats and system.
Thanks for the criticism! I appreciate the time and effort you put into writing a review, so that I can improve my story for the better! I'll make sure to edit chapter 1 and add a pre-death scene, along with reworking chapter 2! Have a great day, dude!
