Reading to C37, the story is mostly alright. There are just some parts that just kinda makes the story more disappointing. The MC's behaviour is kinda awkward. There were couple of snippets that hints at something like trauma, and then it's just glazed over, not mentioned again. Furthermore, she has a sense of self-preservation, hates pain, and stuff like that but continues to act silly even though she should have learned from what got her into the painful messes she was in, instead of doing stupid things because she is bored or insane, especially when she can show logical lines of thought and show control on her murder impulse. The whole fight scene with Dynamite looks like the author is trying to stuff something he likes into the fic without really thinking it through. Like you would think from what has been shown so far, the MC would play around a lot with her kagune, but she tries to punch him. Like she has a supernaturally tough, strong and versatile weapon to use, but gets beaten because she does not have 'form', something for normal humans that does not have supernatural weapons, speed, or strength. However, this is just something I personally don't like, so just chalk it up to her being stupid or something. What killed it for me was the torture scene and the subsequent fight. It's not that gory or gives the reader discomfort. It just came out of nowhere. Well, it came from Tokyo Ghoul, this is just a knock-off version. For the life of me, I could not see anything interesting or exciting, it was just kinda bland. It feels like slapping a piece of wood onto a painting and then call it character development. Boring and dysfunctional. Now, there are good parts. The author did not start of in Brockton Bay, and started in a different city with new heroes, villains and background characters. That's already pretty good. He also fleshes them out quite well, to the extent that I kinda like them more than the MC... maybe that's not a good thing. The gore and blood also appeals to my inner murder hobo. Overall, solid fic, just held back by the MC for me. If you want a happy-go-murder kinda MC this one is for you. The plot direction is kinda loose to none-existent up to C37, but this maybe because I have not read far enough. Still, great job author.
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First of all, yeah, I completely agree with you about the torture scene, that was just me feeling like I should add it for some reason. It was kinda like the ending of my last fic in the sense that I did it because I felt like I should, rather than because it was what I wanted, as for all the other parts, it's not so much that her trauma was being ignored, it was that it is supposed to be subtle. Like, I'm writing in limited 1st person, so what you get is what Lusia knows or is thinking about, and with the trauma, her way of dealing with that was to simply pretend it didn't exist and not think about it. As for the fight with dynamite, you're half right. I did want to get the scene in there, even if it might not have fit, but at the same time, Lusia was new to fighting and still hadn't completely gotten used to having extra limbs, so it's not completely ooc. Also, she does make a lot of bad decisions, at the start simply because she's inexperienced, but she is insane, so sometimes it's simply a case of her going "this is a bad decision" and then doing it anyway because it's interesting. All said, thank you for your review, I hope you can consider reading further, but if not, then fair enough and thank you for reading as far as you did. :3
Although i didn't make it to the torture scene i am not a big fan of novels where the mc gets raped/tortured/killed in the middle of a novel, i much prefer it to happen at the beginning if it is neccesary to show why the mc is insane/traumatized, so i'll have to pass, good novel up to where i read tho (ch 17).
Bored_MC:First of all, yeah, I completely agree with you about the torture scene, that was just me feeling like I should add it for some reason. It was kinda like the ending of my last fic in the sense that I did it because I felt like I should, rather than because it was what I wanted, as for all the other parts, it's not so much that her trauma was being ignored, it was that it is supposed to be subtle. Like, I'm writing in limited 1st person, so what you get is what Lusia knows or is thinking about, and with the trauma, her way of dealing with that was to simply pretend it didn't exist and not think about it. As for the fight with dynamite, you're half right. I did want to get the scene in there, even if it might not have fit, but at the same time, Lusia was new to fighting and still hadn't completely gotten used to having extra limbs, so it's not completely ooc. Also, she does make a lot of bad decisions, at the start simply because she's inexperienced, but she is insane, so sometimes it's simply a case of her going "this is a bad decision" and then doing it anyway because it's interesting. All said, thank you for your review, I hope you can consider reading further, but if not, then fair enough and thank you for reading as far as you did. :3
