I'm sorry I can't really give much of a review yet since there has only been like 6 chaps so far, but it seems to have a lot of potential and I hope you keep it going. However I have to please please beg you, for the love of everything holy and unholy, stop with the status check every sixth sentence. like seriously in the 4th actually chapter alone you showed the whole status 6 times if you must, just show the change and only that part like strength 1<2 or agility 5<7. at least don't show the whole status unless or after a significant change like multiple parameters change and/or multiple spells/status effects are gained. Please try to wait five or so chaps before showing the whole status because you take up most of your words in a chapter just in status screen text. Other than that rant the story seams to be ok so far. I think it only had a few grammatical errors but nothing to jaring and the story seams to have good potential. I truly do hope you keep it up and are able to go with this in a good way. but again please not souch status all the time 🥺🥺🥺
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LIKENo problem man. Thank you for actually reading all of that it was a bit of a rant with little actual advice so sorry about that again 😅 outside of that the story really does seam like it has a lot of potential I hope it goes well for you 😁
Silverhand2023:thanks for the feedback bro. i read back on it and realized you was right, so i went back and have started to change it to something much better thanks to your suggestion.
no worries man, your rant helped out a lot actually, go check chapter 4, and check the the changes you inspired ;)
god_of_war_5752:No problem man. Thank you for actually reading all of that it was a bit of a rant with little actual advice so sorry about that again 😅 outside of that the story really does seam like it has a lot of potential I hope it goes well for you 😁