webnovel
M_S_Nguyen
M_S_NguyenLv132yr
2023-03-11 14:20

The first chapter was really intrriguing, I liked it a lot. The only thing I would improve are the thoughts. Sometimes you wrote: ‘...’ And sometimes you just wrote: Atleast he didn’t...he thought. Just clarify how you want to say your characters are thinking as it will get a little bit confusing if you don’t. Other than that, the chapter is nicely written. t may lack a little bit of emotion but that’s just how I see it. You can imagine the characters well and how they act. You have a pretty clear view of them but still not much knowledge which I personally like because you reveal things step by step and don’t slam it into the readers face. Overall a reat book! Very recommendable😊

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