It seems like the author has great ideas in place for a story. The themes, ideas, characters, and world seem to be well-thought, but I have to mention that the potential for this story is hidden behind paragraphs that are too long and painfully glaring grammar, capitalisation, and punctuation mistakes. It was also interesting to see the dialogue written as it would be for a screenplay. As the author grows their craft, learns more, and edits their work, I'm sure this novel will become something that many will enjoy reading. Simply finding someone willing to help them edit their novel would improve it significantly. I'd also like to mention to the author that they can use a feature to write an author's comments/thoughts for the end of a chapter, rather than writing their thoughts inside the chapter itself. I'd be more than happy at that point to increase my review, but it will need to stay around 3 stars for now.
Rossi_billionz
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